Gender Based Bullying

Bullying An act of intentionally inflicting injury or discomfort upon another person (through physical contact, through words or in other ways) repeatedly and over time for the purpose of intimidation and/or control. Questions What is bullying? Ask people to come up with examples. Maybe ask, “Is it bullying for friends to call each other slurs, if they all do it to each other? Is there such a thing as ‘boys will be boys’ on the playground?” Talking points Using gendered language to make fun of each other, can have the same effect as bullying and can wear young people down. The group that is complicit and using that language may grow less empathetic to young people who are different. They may engage in unhealthy relationships later in life. They may also be intimidated about their own sexual orientation or gender identity, causing them to be in the closet about who they are.

Gender Based Bullying Homophobic teasing Using gendered language to call someone weak or scared Considerations This slide should be used to separate bullying from gender based bullying. Questions Can you think of an example of gender based bullying? Talking points This training is specifically about intimidation and bullying in regards to gender and sexual orientation and how that can lead to sexual harassment and larger problems for young people over time.

Homophobic Teasing: Negative attitudes and behaviors directed toward individuals who identify as or are perceived to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Considerations This slide is to define homophobic teasing and expand on gender based bullying. Optional Activity Use a flip chart. Make three columns. Ask for examples of Homophobic Teasing in column one. In column two write down what the term is means when people say it. Example – when “gay” is used to mean something that is worthless, annoying, or unappealing. In the third column write the literal meaning of the phrase. Discuss how these can make people feel. You can add gendered examples too. Example “ You pussy” – Why is a slang word for vagina associated with weakness?

Examples “That’s so gay” Gay in this case is used to mean stupid/bad. How is that a harmful analogy to make? What ways can you set a different example ? “No homo” This is a common phrase used by young people to separate themselves from anything that could be associated with having any sexual orientation other than straight. Considerations These are most likely terms that your audience has heard. These examples are specifically about sexual orientation so it might also be helpful to ask for examples related to gender identity. This section may require a some introductory information about transgender identities. If this is an area that you would like to learn more about you can view these FAQs: http://www.transpeoplespeak.org/trans-101/ http://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq http://www.masstpc.org/media-center/transgender-101/ If you are seeking more in depth information you can view this webinar: Serving Transgender Survivors: A 101 Training for Advocates: http://www.wcsap.org/serving-transgender-survivors-101-training-advocates#overlay-context= Questions Can you think of any other examples? Are there examples about gender that people want to share? (i.e., referring to someone of any gender as a “pussy” to mean weak or scared.) How would this affect someone who is unsure about their gender identity? If someone is a girl that has been raised a boy, will she be more afraid to be herself if her friends have enforced negative gender stereotypes?

It limits people’s ability to be themselves How does bullying based on gender and sexual orientation stereotypes affect young people? It limits people’s ability to be themselves When this language goes unchecked by adults, the message for young people is that there is no one that will support them in being themselves. This can cause young people to shut down, stay in the closet, bully other young people, and generally feel isolated and depressed. This can cause internalized sexism or homophobia. Young people may start to believe that they deserve to be treated badly or like less than their friends or partners. Considerations and resources This study can help to draw connections for parents between gender based bullying and sexual harassment later in life: http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/ASAP_BullyingSV-a.pdf – this is a link to the Applying Science Advancing Practice study. Talking points This slide is meant to connect bullying to the root causes of sexual assault and harassment. Oppressions of all kinds are used to keep people “in their place” and sexual assault is a tool of oppression. Changing the norms of language and the standards of how people treat each other is a powerful prevention tool.

How does gender based bullying affect the bully? Lack of empathy Othering people makes us less likely to see them as fully human or deserving of rights. Power and control This can lead a bully to want to further assert their power and control later in life, potentially leading to sexual harassment. Considerations You can also add slides about other types of oppression. Racism, classism, xenophobia are all types of bullying in schools that are rooted in oppression and therefore can be complicit or explicit tools of sexual assault and harassment. Talking points If it feels appropriate you can again remind participants that oppression of all kinds are used to keep people “in their place” and sexual assault is a tool of oppression. When we change or challenge the norms of language we can impact the culture of our homes, schools, and community thus creating a safer world.

Gender based bullying leads to Sexual Harassment The Bully-Sexual Violence Pathway is an emerging theory in which bullying perpetration and homophobic teasing are thought to be predictive of sexual violence perpetration over time. Sexual Harassment: Includes comments, sexual rumor spreading, or groping. Considerations and resources This slide is taken from the ASAP study. Questions What are other ways that sexual harassment and sexual bullying show up in the lives of young people? Can any of this behavior be in “good fun”? Talking points Give examples what sexual harassment and sexual bullying can look like for young people (“upskirting,” comments about people’s bodies, creating fake social media profiles, etc.) Highlight the ways in which popular culture minimizes and excuses sexual harassment and sexual bullying among youth.

ASAP Study This research is focused on one kind of sexual violence, sexual harassment, that does not include forcible acts like rape. The findings of this study do not imply that bullying leads to rape. It suggests that bullying and homophobic teasing are associated with later sexual harassment. Considerations and resources This slide is intended to examine how this study made the connection between bullying and sexual harassment. Here is a link to this paper, http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/asap_bullyingsv-a.pdf Talking points This association suggests the potential for bullying prevention strategies to address sexual harassment and homophobic teasing more explicitly.

“You… Like a Girl” Gender Box Activity – Optional Men and Boys Women and Girls Can box, wrestle without being teased Can grow beards, mustaches Can play pro hockey Can have babies Can wear skirts and dresses without being teased Can wear makeup without being teased Can paint the bedroom pink without being teased Considerations and resources The purpose of this slide is to have adults break down some of the stereotypes that are enforced for young people in schools. The FLASH curriculum is a great place to find more activities for this. Here is a link to this activity and more -www.kingcounty.gov/depts/health/locations/family-planning/education/FLASH.aspx Teachers may have to purchase this curriculum, but it will have other activities that adults and youth can do. Activity directions Define "gender roles" and explain the lesson's purpose. Explain that roles are like rules by which we play games. The role of "student" involves being a good listener, coming to class on time, etc. Students who follow the rules, do well at the game. "Gender roles" are the rules people think they should follow because of their sex...ways they act because "boys and men are supposed to" or "girls and women ought to." This lesson will examine those roles/rules.  2. Brainstorm gender-specific roles and behaviors in America today. Have students brainstorm, while you write the contributions on the blackboard, advantages of being male; then, the advantages of being female in mainstream U.S. culture today. Your lists may end up looking something like this:  (example on slide- you can remove these examples to start from scratch with the group or change the examples to suit your preference.) 3. If the group has trouble generating the lists, ask them what things a girl or woman can do that some boys or men might feel embarrassed doing, or find impossible to do...and vice versa. Once the lists are on the whiteboard, help students identify that most characteristics are social learning and not biologically inherent. Point out that a few years ago the "women and girls" list might have contained "wearing earrings" or "getting a curl.” Now many males feel comfortable doing these things. Point out that other societies, not just other time in history, have differing beliefs regarding roles. In some Native American and African societies, men wear face-paint (makeup). In Scotland, men wear kilts (skirts). Give students a chance to discuss the expectations of men and women in their ethnic communities – the ways their own cultures may differ from the standards promoted by the media. 

Video Clip – Break the Box https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2GIu5ZpnTM How are these stereotypes harmful to young people? Considerations and resources Show this clip to get a conversation started about stereotypes. You can also show these clips instead or in addition to the first clip: The Straightlaced trailer is a good example of the bullying young people experience - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkrdXNOxKM4&list=PLpR5E0kTlRTVvPX_46sUF3vtvEOWv9Sq0 Always #LikeAGirl (this one is an advertisement but is also an effective tool) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs Questions How are these stereotypes harmful to young people? Talking points These stereotypes limit the authentic expression of the identities of young people. These stereotypes could limit the achievement of youth “girls aren’t good at advanced sciences,” or “girls can’t play football.” You can use this as another opportunity to reinforce that verbal bullying is violent and causes long-term harm.

Washington’s Anti-Bullying Policy Washington State has an anti-bullying task force that has created guidelines that school districts can follow in order to make their schools safer. What terms are used in the Washington anti-bullying laws? Harassment, intimidation, or bullying Considerations and resources This slide is to acknowledge that Washington State has been working to end Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying in schools. This may or may not be relevant to the group of adults you are working with. This website, http://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/washington.html, talks more about what Washington state has been trying to do. It has assessment tools, example policies, etc. You can add slides to expand on the work Washington is doing or you can use some of the prevention tools on their website to give parents ideas.

What groups are listed under Washington state law? Race Color Religion Ancestry National origin Gender Sexual orientation Mental, physical, or sensory handicap Considerations This is a chance to talk about more types of oppression and bullying. You can either add slides in order to highlight some of these, or just have a discussion about them. It is important to know that Washington state has laws to protect each of these classes, but it is more important to talk about how these things are affecting young people everyday.

Schools that receive federal funding are required by federal law to address discrimination on a number of different personal characteristics Considerations and resources This slide refers to federal law protections against discrimination. Title IX is the law that gives students protection against harassment or a hostile school environment based on sex or gender identity. Learn more here: http://knowyourix.org/ http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201605-title-ix-transgender.pdf

Assessment Tools There are assessment tools that you can use at schools that help assess how bullying is affecting your school If you are a parent that is noticing bullying in your child’s school, this is a tool that you can bring to your school’s leaders. As a parent, you can also use some of the assessment tools to do an informal assessment with you children. Considerations and resources Here is a link to the assessment tool http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/at-school/index.html Make copies as handouts or provide the audience with the link.

What an Assessment Can Do Help you know what’s going on. Adults underestimate the rates of bullying because kids rarely report it and it often happens when adults aren’t around. Assessing bullying through anonymous surveys can provide a clear picture of what is going on. Target efforts. Understanding trends and types of bullying in your school can help you plan bullying prevention and intervention efforts. Considerations and resources Again, this is targeted towards schools since most youth are attending schools. What is happening during school is often what is happening in that young person’s social life. Assessment tools are based on anonymous surveys that are available on the stopbullying.gov website. There are a number of assessment tools available. Take time to look through these and see which one might be best for your audience. If none of these apply, use some of their questions to help adults start conversations with young people. An informal assessment, though not anonymous, might be fruitful if it is with a trusted adult.

What you can do as parents Talk to the other parents about expectations Perhaps make group norms with other parents that your children interact with Be careful not to shut down the language young people use without unpacking the meaning and why it can be harmful Start conversations with your children and their friends Why do you use those words? What does “that’s so gay” mean to you? Unpack the language being used Have group ground rules at your house about what words are acceptable and expectations Considerations and resources This slide is important for authority figures to talk to young people about what words mean and why are they powerful. Use this opportunity to talk give parents and teachers tools to unpack common terms that are hurtful. If there is more time, an optional activity can be found in the WCSAP “Be the Solution” guide- http://www.wcsap.org/discussion-guide-be-solution-game