Module 8 Championing and Challenging

Aims/Objectives To discuss the impact of clarity and articulation when championing and challenging clients To revisit and go deeper with crucial conversations To develop clarity about what to challenge and ways to challenge To recognize the components of fierce conversations and the appropriate use of those components in coaching To delineate the elements of a mineral rights discussion and its application to coaching practice

Learning Outcomes Demonstrates follow through by asking about actions that were previously identified during coaching sessions Is clear, articulate and direct in providing feedback Positively confronts the clients when agreed upon actions are not taken Utilizes fierce conversation content when appropriate in coaching sessions Helps the client focus and build upon success

Review

Crucial Conversations Process Step Behaviors Start with heart Work on me first Stay focused Refocus your brain Return to Dialogue Learn to look Content and conditions Situation moves to crucial Safety problems Silence or violence Outbreaks in styles under stress

Step Behaviors Make it Safe Apologize when appropriate Contrast to fix misunderstanding CRIB to get to Mutual Purpose: Commit to see Mutual Purpose/Goal Recognize the purpose behind the strategy Invent a Mutual Purpose/Goal Brainstorm new strategies Master Stories Notice your behavior Get in touch with your feelings Analyze your stories Get back to the facts Watch for clever stories

Step State my path Share your facts Tell your story Ask for others’ path Talk tentatively Encourage testing Catch yourself Ask to get things rolling Mirror to confirm feelings Paraphrase to acknowledge the story Prime when you’re getting nowhere Remember the ABCs: Agree, Build, Compare

Step Behaviors Move to Action Direct Consensus

Think About….. Which step in crucial conversations do you think will be most difficult for you? How can you use the steps in Crucial Conversations to protect your relationship with your client?

Challenging

What to Challenge Mind-sets-assumptions, biases, convictions, norms, unexamined perceptions of self/others/the world Ways of thinking Ways of acting Discrepancies between thinking/saying and acting Self-limiting beliefs Predictable dishonesties of everyday life-white lies Games, tricks and smokescreens Strengths and unused resources

Ways to Challenge Clients Think differently Encourage what is missing Take on stretch tasks Uncover the “root” cause Ask client to evaluate progress

Think About….. How might you address an issue with a client when there is a discrepancy between what they say they want and the action they are taking towards it? How comfortable are you with challenging a client? What would lead to more comfort for you?

Fierce Conversations

Fierce Conversations Rules of Engagement: Fierce is to confront side by side, not firing at. Con = with, along side Front = in front of something, leading Rules of Engagement: Take ownership of your own feelings and actions Be direct and honest about your feelings and what you want Stick to the issue, don’t make it personal Paraphrase what you think you heard Deal with one issue at a time What other things do you remember from Feedback 101 that would be critical for it to be effective? What other key elements help you prepare for crucial conversations (relating/rapport)? Trust Equation (credibility, reliability, professional intimacy, other orientation), Empathetic Listening (what are some skills? Reflecting, acknowledging, probing, supporting, being quiet, checking in perceptions)

Fierce Conversations BEFORE FIERCE AFTER FIERCE Focus on activities Skirting issues Politics, turf war Sleep walking Niceness, toleration Focus on results Naming, truth, change Alignment & collaboration Shared enthusiasm Effective confrontation

Coaching Conversation Principles Fierce Conversations OBJECTIVES Coaching Conversation Principles Interrogate Reality Provoke Learning Tackle Tough Challenges Enrich Relationships Master the courage to interrogate reality Come out from behind yourself, into the conversation, and make it real Be here, prepared to be nowhere else Tackle your toughest challenge today Obey your instincts Take responsibility for your emotional wake Let silence do the heavy lifting In Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversations, she has a concept called Mineral Rights in which we hold conversation to go deeper Mineral Rights – allows us to do mining into what is true for the individual. This is a respectful process, yet somewhat fierce – as we venture to name our experience and help them explore theirs for the sake of changes in mindsets and behaviors.

Preparing the issue for discussion The Issue Is: Be concise, in one or two sentences, get to the heart of the problem Is it a concern, challenge, opportunity, or recurring problem that is becoming more troublesome? It is Significant Because: What’s at stake? What is the future impact if the issue is not resolved? How does this affect people, products, services, customers, the associate, timing, future, company, etc. Reflect and summarize to yourself to identify precisely what you’re targeting Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversation

Preparing the issue for discussion The Ideal Outcome is: What specific results are expected? Alternative solutions Confidence regarding the right decision Identification of consequences Where to find more information Critique of the current plan Outcomes: AGAIN – ANOTHER POSSIBLE 2 PART PHASE. FOR SURE – PREPARE YOURSELF AS COACH. THEN AS YOU EXPLORE WITH THE ASSOCIATE – HELP THEM TO BECOME CLEAR ON specific RESULTS WANTED. Results: THIS PHASE CAN ALSO BE 2 PARTS. PREPARING YOURSELF – EXPLORE THESE IDEAS. THEN, IF YOU CHOOSE, YOU CAN EXPLORE THESE ALSO WITH THE ASSOCIATE TO LEAD FORWARD THINKING INTO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT EXISTS NOW (reframe). How will this help the person change/modify a behavior? How would getting to the problem help you as a coach?

Relevant Background Information How, when, why, and where did the issue start? Who are the key players? Which forces are at work? What is the issue’s current status? If nothing changes, what are the implications?

What Has Been Done Up to This Point What has been done so far? What options am can be considered?

As A Coach….I Want What results do I want Alternative solutions Confidence regarding the right decision Identification of consequences Where to find more information Critique of the current plan

FIERCE STATEMENTS AND QUESTIONS What is the most important thing you and I should be talking about today? What’s going on; how long has it been going on? Am I understanding you correctly? How is this issue currently impacting you? Others/the company? As you consider these results, what do you think and feel? If nothing changes, what are the implications? When you consider these possible outcomes, what do you think and feel? How have you contributed to this problem/issue? What piece of this issue has your name on it? When this issue is resolved, what difference will that make? When you contemplate these results, what do you think and feel? What is the most potent step you could take towards resolution? When can we follow up on this?

Think About….. In which circumstances might you begin a Fierce Conversation? How can you ensure that you protect the feelings that may arise with your clients when you are engaging in Fierce Conversations?

Case Study

Case Study Shirley set her goals as wanting to create a healthier relationship with her colleagues. She finds the work environment she is in somewhat toxic and does not look forward to going to work. A few specific behaviors that she is working on include; being the first to initiate conversation, suspending biases and assumptions about her colleague’s behaviors and setting up times for coffee weekly with different colleagues to get to know them at a deeper level. After four sessions with you, Shirley relates that she continues to find her colleagues off- putting and has not been able to follow through with any of her commitments. Would you use the Crucial Conversations or Fierce Conversations frameworks with Shirley? Or neither? How would you start the conversation using one of the frameworks?