Chapter 17 Howard W. Hunter (2015-2016)

From the Life of Howard W. Hunter Biographical Notes: Howard loved music and was in a band called Hunter’s Croonaders which played in Boise Idaho. He made some good money doing it but before he got married he stopped playing music professionally as he felt this was incompatible with family life. He had 3 sons: Billy, John and Richard but Billy died as an infant. Howard worked as a lawyer but always prioritized his family and held family home evening every Monday night. Howard’s family eventually grew to 18 grandchildren.

The Utmost Importance Q: What is the most important entity in time and eternity? The family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and, as such, transcends every other interest in life. To be a successful father or a successful mother is far greater than to rise to leadership or high places in business, government, or worldly affairs. Home may seem commonplace at times with its routine duties, yet its success should be the greatest of all our pursuits in life. A man who holds the priesthood regards the family as ordained of God. Your leadership of the family is your most important and sacred responsibility.

The Church’s Duty to Families Q: What duty does the church have to families? The Church has the responsibility—and the authority—to preserve and protect the family as the foundation of society. The Structure of the Family was instituted and ordained before the foundation of the world. Q:How does the Church Protect the Family? What Beliefs do we uphold? Children are to be born into a family with a husband and wife who are lawfully married. Parenthood is a sacred obligation and privilege, with children to be welcomed as a “heritage of the Lord.” (Ps. 127:3) Families need to be based on the Gospel: “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Ps. 127:1). Often those which may need the most careful watch care are those families of the non-traditional structure. Caring and committed home teachers are needed in each home.

Parents Duties to Children Q: What duties to Parents have to children? “Anyone who becomes a parent is under strict obligation to protect and love [their] children and assist them to return to their Heavenly Father. All parents should understand that the Lord will not hold guiltless those who neglect these responsibilities.” “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6.) The teaching and governance of the family must not be left to society, to school, or even the Church. Lead the family in regular scriptural study and daily prayer. A righteous father protects his children with his time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother. Tell your children you love them.

Husband’s Duties Q: What duties to do men have to their wives? A man who holds the priesthood has reverence for motherhood. Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. [Brethren,] honor your wife’s unique and divinely appointed role as a mother in Israel and her special capacity to bear and nurture children. We are under divine commandment to multiply and replenish the earth and to bring up our children and grandchildren in light and truth (see Moses 2:28; D&C 93:40). You share, as a loving partner, the care of the children. Help her to manage and keep up your home. Help teach, train, and discipline your children.

Husband’s Duties Q: What does it mean to “Preside in Righteousness”? By divine appointment, the responsibility to preside in the home rests upon the priesthood holder (see Moses 4:22). The Lord intended that the wife be a helpmeet for man (meet means equal)—that is, a companion equal and necessary in full partner- ship. Presiding in righteousness necessitates a shared responsibility between husband and wife; together you act with knowledge and participation in all family matters. For a man to operate independent of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion.

Home Atmosphere Q: What Kind of Home Atmosphere should we cultivate? Surely that home is strongest and most beautiful in which we find each person sensitive to the feelings of others, striving to serve others, striving to live at home the principles we demonstrate in more public settings. A child has the right to feel that in his home he is safe, that there he has a place of protection from the dangers and evils of the out-side world. A child needs parents who are happy in their relationship to each other. “But my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved” (D&C 45:32). While some interpret this to mean the temple, which surely it does, it also represents the homes in which we live.” Pray as families both night and morning.

Family Meetings Q: What meetings are we counseled to have as families? What has been your experience with them? “If the Saints obey this counsel [to hold family home evenings], we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them.” Q: What should the primary emphasis be? Monday evenings are preserved for Family Home Evening. The primary emphasis of family home evening should be for families to be together to study the gospel. Q: What about family council meetings? Family Council.” This council is called and conducted by the parents and attended by all members of the family. It strengthens family ties, assures children they “belong,” and convinces them that the parents are interested in their problems.

Successful Parenting Q: How do you define success as a parent? A successful parent is one who has loved, sacrificed, cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child. If you have done all of these and your child is still wayward or troublesome or worldly, it could well be that you are, nevertheless, a successful parent. As parents we often assume that, if our child doesn’t become an overachiever in every way, we have failed. We should be careful in our judgments. The ultimate responsibility lies with the child after parents have taught correct principles.

Q: How is marriage a partnership with God? Closing Questions Q: How is marriage a partnership with God?