Conflict Resolution in our Digital Age + meet the NC State Faculty & Staff Ombuds Roy Baroff NC State Faculty & Staff Ombuds April 2017

Program Agenda Intro Defining Conflict 😎 👽 🌻 Introduction to NC State Faculty & Staff Ombuds Office 🎱 Causes of conflict generally and in the digital age 🚜 👺 🐂 Conflict Styles 🍎 🍿 ⚓️ Resolving digital dilemmas 💻 📱

“Real” Program Agenda I’ve prepared a simple case presentation.

NC State Faculty & Staff Ombuds = Conflict Resolution Specialist - Roy Baroff

Program Goal Take home one idea!

How does it feel? What does it mean? Can we reframe it? Defining Conflict How does it feel? What does it mean? Can we reframe it?

NC State Faculty Ombuds Office Independent Confidential Informal Impartial

Identify the cause of conflict to determine how to approach its resolution

What Causes Conflict Generally and how do we deal with it ? No Single Answer !! Roger Fisher & William Ury – Getting to Yes Baruch Bush and Joseph Folger – Transformative Mediation John Winslade and Gerald Monk – Narrative mediation Chris Moore – Conflict Sources (Circle)

Conflict is about individual needs and interests not being met. Getting to Yes Conflict is about individual needs and interests not being met.

Getting to Yes (Principled Negotiation) Roger Fisher and Bill Ury Separate people from the problem/conflict - be hard on the problem and soft on the people Focus on interests not positions Generate a range of options for mutual gain Base choices on some objective or mutually agreeable criteria or standard

Negotiation Model - Interest Based Win – Win (All Win) Interests Positions

Transformative theory of conflict From “Promise of Mediation” Conflict is NOT about individual rights, interests, or power It is about relationship to self and others In conflict you feel alienated from your own strengths. Being in conflict creates a negative conflict spiral.

The Conflict Spiral

Transformative interventions Focus on the quality of the conflict interaction. People can address conflict when feeling empowered and recognized. Empowerment = individual support to shift from weakness to strength Recognition = from self absorption to better understanding of self and other

Narrative Conflict concepts Conflict is understood from the outside, from considering the social, cultural and not individual needs, wants, interests. Conflict is often the result of differing perspectives and cultural positions. Conflict is itself a story with a plot, actors, dramatic features, timelines, etc.

Narrative Interventions Explore the conflict story – how did it begin, who are the actors, what’s the plot so far? Externalize the conflict as something “other” than the people involved. Map the effect of the conflict and determine if people want to continue the effects or change. Re-story the future without the conflict present.

Causes of Conflict in our Digital Age

Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute) - BIFF responses to hostile email Do you need to respond at all? If yes, BIFF - Brief Informative Friendly Firm

Christopher Moore - Causes of Conflict Data Structure Relationship Value Interest

Data Conflicts & Solutions Lack of information or misinformation Disagree over what data is relevant Different interpretation Different assessment procedures explain, challenge, correct data Surface assessment assumptions Agree on what data is important Agree on joint process to collect data

Relationship Conflicts & Solutions Presence of strong negative emotions Misperceptions or stereotypes Poor or miscommunication Repetitive negative behaviors Use process, guidelines to mange emotions, legitimize feelings Clarify perceptions Improve quality of communication Block negative behavior by changing structure Encourage positive problem-solving attitudes

Value Conflicts & Solutions Different criteria for evaluating ideas or behaviors Different ways of life, ideology, religion Goals are mutually exclusive Share information about values Do not define problem in terms of values Agree to disagree Seek super-ordinate goals shared by all

Structural Conflicts & Solutions Destructive patterns of behavior or interaction Unequal control, ownership, resources Unequal power or authority Geographic, physical, or environmental factors Time constraints Define &clarify roles Modify external pressures Reallocate resources Change time constraints Negotiate ratification process Negotiate who needs to be present to resolve

Interest Conflicts & Solutions Focus on interests not positions Seek objective criteria Develop integrative solutions Search for ways to expand Develop trade-offs between interests Competition over perceived or actual incompatible needs or wants Substantive issues Procedural issues Psychological issues

Collaborate/Cooperative Conflict Styles Compete/Dominate Accommodate Avoid Collaborate/Cooperative Compromise

COMPETE/DOMINATE Fight to win

Compete/Dominate Issue is trivial Time is of the essence Don’t care about relationships Others don’t care about outcome Use power of position High/low initial proposals Make small concessions Threat, accuse, exaggerate Seek to dominate and control, hard on the people and the problem

ACCOMMODATE Whatever you want is okay . ..

Accommodation Issue is not important to you You are in a weak position You believe you may be wrong Quick agreement Soft on the people (except yourself !) Appease, flatter

AVOID

Avoid Flee, ignore, withdraw Issue is trivial Put it off to the last You have time Need cooling off Flee, ignore, withdraw Put it off to the last Give it to someone else Hope it goes away

Collaboration/Cooperation working together for mutual gain

Collaboration/Cooperative Issues & relationships important Issues complex Seek to address all aspects Need help from others to solve Use rational logical persuasion Develop relationships Make unilateral steps Focus on fairness

Compromise / Distributive

Compromise / Distributive Finding solution better than nothing Cooperation important, but time limited Active bargaining over fixed resource Give some to get some Reactive Split the difference

Resolving Digital Dilemmas ! T H I N K Model let’s Talk what’s Happening search for Interests what’s Next Keep talking

Contact the NC State Faculty & Staff Ombuds Roy Baroff rjbaroff@ncsu.edu rjb@roybaroff.com 919-935-0922 919-542-2575 facultyombuds.ncsu.edu staffombuds.ncsu.edu