Why the script is a low level 3

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Presentation transcript:

Why the script is a low level 3 Opening point addresses the stated factor The British naval blockade was very effective as it starved Germany out of the war. At the end of the war when the armistice was signed, the people who did it were remembered as the November criminals because the soldiers felt as though they had been betrayed and were winning the war. It is true Germany were winning almost every battle, but its people back home were starving and there was riots in Berlin. You could tell the blockade was causing a problem for Germany even in 1916 because they tried to destroy it in the Battle of Jutland, but failed. Another reason why Germany lost WW1 was because of Americas entry into the war. America declared war on Germany after they stupidly sent the Zimmerman telegram to Mexico and by early 1918 there were a million men from America in Europe with more arriving each week. As well as bringing more men they also brought better equipment (tanks and such), meaning Germany were now outnumbered and out-equipped and it was only a matter of time before they surrendered as they were being pushed back into Germany. In conclusion, I think the most important reason Germany lost the war was Americas entry. Americas troops and resources were too much for Germany to handle so against them they had to surrender otherwise berlin may have got invaded. Use of supporting evidence Answer could potentially explain here but the candidate doesn’t say why this caused the German defeat (SO WHAT?) Opening point considering an additional factor (counter-argument) Use of supporting evidence Explanation of how this caused German defeat Judgement is made but it is unbalanced and doesn’t get credited anyway

What is needed in a conclusion? How do you write a good conclusion?

What is a conclusion? A conclusion is not you simply summing up your points from the essay! A conclusion is instead is a place where you get to have your final say on the issues in your essay, the importance of your ideas and show the reader the value of your completely developed argument. In your conclusion you should be clearly answering the question and explaining, with conviction, why your argument is the strongest. A conclusion is not a place for you to bring in a new idea that you haven't already mentioned in the main part of your essay!