RAISING TEENS IN THE 21 ST CENTURY James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

Internet Technology Sex Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and...) High school romance Anonymity THE PERFECT STORM

SEXTING STATS Frequency 4% sent images (Girls=65%) 15% received images from Pew Why teens sext: Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response) Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls Responding back = 44% A joke = 40% Feel sexy = 34% girls Pressured = 12% girls

TEXTING INFO Kids who text 120+ times a day: 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex More likely to have been in a physical fight More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and spiritual goals Greater importance of wealth and image Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range of social outgroups.

Whats a parent to do?

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES Educate yourself Have the talk. Set ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences

INTERNET Have the talk Dont exaggerate the dangers Teach about privacy and personal information Emphasize trust and good judgment Complete transparency Permanent record Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment Sexual Communication and the law

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES Set the ground rules Parents have all passwords Personal information Acceptable words and information No sexting or chat rooms visits All apps must be preapproved Pictures (and tagging) Private vs Public information Friends vs friends Online bullying/harassment Language Sending or receiving aggressive messages

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it. Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST Novice 6 months of appropriate internet use Knows internet and social network account rules Texts responsibly Remains trustworthy Owns up to violations and mistakes

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST Expert 6 months as Novice Resists social pressure Assertive Self-control Media savvy Talks to you about problems (optional) After 17 years old, give up

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Warning signs. Consequences

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES Monitor devices & accounts monthly Review pictures Check for rogue apps Review texts

WARNING SIGNS Use computer parents dont check Close/minimize browser when parents are around Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior Privacy settings to limit access Lie/omit details of online activity Hide/delete instant messages/texts Use private browsing modes Clears browser history Apps that hide apps Ghost and social networking profiles adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012

SOCIAL MEDIA CONSEQUENCES First violation 1 month probation Supervised electronic media use Daily talks for 7 straight days Return to previous level if successful

SOCIAL MEDIA CONSEQUENCES First violation If violation is visiting chat rooms sexting ghost accounts Shut down all forms of electronic communication. Disable camera.

SOCIAL MEDIA GROUND RULES Second violation Lock them out of their accounts Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months Third violation in 12 months Close their accounts permanently Lock out internet use from home Cancel phone texting and internet Check for Ghost accounts Consult

e.g., 5 part series on Sexting Theres A Stranger In My House Parenting Teens Newsletter RESOURCES