Revision strategies: Let’s be awesome. You need: Your draft A pen or pencil A comments handout At least four markers or highlighters

First things first Look back at your hook. Again, think back to the significance of brevity and reflection. Answer this honestly: Would the first line or two of this essay make you want to continue reading? If not, make a note of it, and fix it now or later.

Select a highlighter/marker to represent “focus.” 1) Double underline your focus sentence or where the focus first becomes clear. 2) Continue to single underline any places where you refer to that focal idea. What you should see through this step? You should definitely have items underlined in the first and last paragraphs. You should probably have items underlined in every paragraph. This shows you are ___________ _____ __________. If you cannot underline much, make a note to yourself to refer back to your focus.

A writer I know said, “Adjectives are carbs. Verbs are protein A writer I know said, “Adjectives are carbs. Verbs are protein.” What does that mean? Circle every verb in your paper. Remember that verbs are action words. Make sure that you circle EVERY time you use: am, is, are, was, were, have, has, had, got Are your verbs “protein”? If you see more than 3-4 examples of was, you should consider revising verbs. If your verbs are repetitive or dull, revise!

Your conclusion Read your conclusion. Does it do more than re-state the focus? Is it appropriately clever? Is it memorable?

Turn your handout over to the blank side. On this page, actually write out a list of the first word of every sentence in your paper. Example: I, We, When, I, The, Then, If, Also, I, We, Next, We, He, Then, I, We, I, Then, Additionally, I, Finally, I If this was your list of first words, how would you feel about that? What would you change? Look at the sentence starters sheet for help on this!

While we’re thinking about repetition… 1) How many times do you use the word “I” in your paper? Count it up.* 2) Are there other words/expressions that you use too much? What are they? *Do not try to fix an abundance of “I” by substituting the word “you.” Why should you not change “I” to “you”?

Select a color to represent transition words and phrases. 1) Highlight the transitional words you use. 2) Do you have transitions? Are they all simplistic? If this is a weakness, you should pick up a transitions handout or google search “Wisconsin Writing Center transitions.” This site provides several transition words by category.

Best diction—pick 2 colors. When we read Morley’s essay about the skate park, many words stood out. Words such as “scraped,” “turtle-like,” and “inaugurated” accomplished the exact mood and imagery Morley intended. Is your diction accomplishing the same thing? 1) Select one color and use it to mark 4-5 examples of perfect diction—the exact right word for that moment. 2) Using the other color, mark 4-5 words that strike you as weak. Work on fixing those.

Feeling brain dead yet? Don’t worry. There’s only one more slide!

Titles Do you have a title? What does it convey? If you are stuck, consider using one of the following methods for creating a title: --a pun related to your story (depending on tone) --a key place or person mentioned in the story --a topic word that relates to your focus Look back at all of the essay samples you have. Which titles do you like? Let those inspire how you create your title.