relationships & mood: importance research review on connection between depression & social support, attributional style, personality, dysfunctional attitudes, marital distress and coping style little evidence of cognitive vulnerability to depression marital distress and low social integration seem to be involved in the aetiology of depression Barnett PA et al Psychosocial functioning & depression: distinguishing among antecedents, concomitants, & consequences Psychol Bull 1988;104:97-126

couples - the ibm try completing this pretty rapidly - just jot down your first gut reactions then go over it again changing any answers that feel wrong … or marking answers that you’re not sure about note any answers that you would like to discuss or work to improve

intimate bond measure scores high scores on care and low on control are good; though extreme scores aren’t necessarily ideal in fact what is judged as “ideal” will vary somewhat from couple to couple average scores typically are around 25 - 30 for care and 7 - 12 for control optimal intimacy affectionate constraint care average absence of intimacy affectionless control control Wilhelm K & Parker G The development of a measure of intimate bonds Psychol Med 1988;18:225-34

ibm scores & depression care scores are the most important, though low care often goes with high control depressives who would recover in the next few months initially scored 24 for total partner care depressives who would not recover in the next few months scored 12 for care normals care recovered affectionless control not recovered control Hickie I et al Perceived interpersonal risk factors of non- endogenous depression Psychol Med 1991;21:399-412

to stay or to leave? group A had partners with initial IBM care scores of 20 or more group B & C rated their partners at less than 20 for IBM care group B separated from their partners while group C didn’t C depr’n score A B Hickie I et al The impact of an uncaring partner on improvement in non-melancholic depression J Affect Dis 1992;25:147-60 weeks

assertiveness is important Larson assertiveness is important avoid being a doormat or a sledgehammer hey, bucko … I’m through begging