Introduction: There are events and times in our lives that we find difficult to deal with. In this assembly we’ll have the opportunity to think about those times and to consider the ways that we cope with these situations. Dealing with emotions

Think of a time when you have experienced anger, distress, fear, worry, unhappiness or low self-esteem. We all feel these things from time to time, and that’s perfectly normal. Think about how you coped with feeling this way. If appropriate take some suggestions from the pupils- e.g. watching TV, phoning a friend, spending time with family, playing computer games, listening to music etc.

These kinds of things might have come to mind… or you may have your own ways of relaxing and dealing with difficult times.

Sometimes people find other ways of relieving emotional distress. Some people use hurting themselves as an outlet for the feelings we’ve just been talking about. You might have heard this being called ‘self-harming’. Self-harm is often understood to be a physical response to an emotional pain of some kind. Anything that causes you harm – even slight harm – which in some small way makes you feel better emotionally, can fall under the umbrella of self-harm. In this assembly we will explore self harm a little more, and think about what to do if you are affected by this issue.

So, what exactly is self-harm? A physical response to emotional pain Often happens during times of anger, distress, fear, worry, depression or low self-esteem. A way of controlling or managing negative feelings. Includes injuries that you cause to yourself Young people who have self-harmed report that, although it makes them feel better at them time, afterwards they feel guilty and ashamed. The emotions haven’t gone away. They feel lonely and isolated and end up in a vicious cycle.

There are some myths around self harm… “It’s a m It’s a mental illness “She must enjoy it” She must enjoy it. There are some myths around self harm… He’s a He’s an attention seeker ‘She must enjoy it’- the physical pain of self harming can be unbearable. Self harm doesn’t feel nice. Sometimes it’s just better than the emotional pain it’s trying to hide. ‘It’s a mental illness’- it’s not. Self harm is an expression of difficult or unbearable emotions. However, young people who self harm may be diagnosed with additional mental health problems which is nothing to be ashamed of. Being referred for additional support from, for example, or psychologist or community nurse can be really helpful to change patterns of thought and behaving. ‘He’s an attention seeker’- Self harm may be a way of communication emotional distress or finding life difficult to manage. That doesn’t mean the person is deliberately seeking attention. Wanting someone to notice that we are struggling is not a negative thing. A lot of people who self harm do so in secret and in places that won’t be easily seen. ‘It’s just a girl thing’- self harm can affect everyone and anyone- and that includes boys. Boys have emotions and difficulties just like girls. And some boys find it difficult to express those emotions. It’s just a girl thing

Basically- anyone. Who does self-harm affect? It is thought around 13% of 11- 16 year olds will self-harm at some point. You are not alone.

I think some of these things affect me- what can I do? Recognising that self-harm is not as helpful as we’d like to believe it is a big step. Self-help and self-care can replace self-harm. We can learn other ways of dealing with stress and distress, and managing our emotions. Express yourself- through keeping a diary or writing a blog- writing things down can help make sense of your emotions. Getting support from others and professional services can be really helpful- this can also be the hardest step as it requires telling someone. If you are considering making a disclosure to somebody then, first of all – well done! And secondly, here are some suggestions that may help you: Choose someone you really trust Choose a good time when you won’t be interrupted Try writing down what you want to say so that you feel prepared, or opt for writing/emailing/texting instead. Some people find it much easier than trying to talk face-to-face. Let the person know what you would like to happen as a result of the conversation – it helps you to feel more in control.

Look out for your friends. Look out for each other. And remember that you are worth looking after too. Take time to look after yourself.