Using Your Journey to Make a Difference Presented by Barbara Granger Family Engagement Specialist Texas Institute for Excellence in Mental Health, University of Texas Co-Lead Texas Family Voice Network

Objectives Discover the Steps to Using Your Voice Affectively Looking for Ways to Share Your Story Learning to Use the Highs and Lows of Your Personal Journey to Strengthen Your Influence

How The Journey Begins From a Whisper to a Roar

My Personal Journey

Finding Your Voice Examine the expertise that comes from personal experience—Know You’re are Ready 2. Learn ways to share your story 3. Begin learning self-care strategies to help you prevent burnout.

“When we deny the story, it defines us “When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can create a brave new ending.” —Brene Brown

Knowing you are Ready Do you have a passion to make improvements? When you hear a family’s struggle, do you want to share your experience to inspire hope? Do you search for answers and solutions that will work for your family and others? Are you often asked to help another family with their circumstances? Are you sometimes recognized for your successful family outcomes?

Strategic Sharing Taken from Children's Research Triangle (2015)

Using your voice effectively 1. Understand the characteristics of a family leader Use your voice to effectively communicate and advocate for the changes needed to support your family and others toward successful outcomes. Continue learning strategies that build your leadership skills and influence.

A family leader is one who uses their personal lived experience to help guide and influence others on their journey.

What Defines a Family Leader? You have a passion to make improvements. When you hear a family's struggle, you want to share your experience to inspire hope. You search for answers and solutions that will work for your family and others. You often asked to help another family with their circumstance. You are sometimes recognized for your successful family outcomes.

Stages of Family Leadership

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” —John Quincy Adam

Advocating Tips Influence Change 3. Self-empowerment Reduce Stigma 1. Relationship Building Sharing our experiences helps build relationships with each other and decreases the isolation so many of us have felt. Influence Change Stories influence public opinion and policy. They are so effective, news reporters and politicians search for people to put a face on stories and issues. Stories are remembered and can touch a heart, not just the mind. 3. Self-empowerment Family leadership lifts us from shame and embarrassment to pride and empowerment! Reduce Stigma Sharing reduces stigma (when someone judges a person negatively based on a personal trait/experience) by normalizing our experiences and evaporating negative beliefs and presumptions. 5. Right for our Rights Sharing empowers us to relay, negotiate, and assert our own goals, needs, and rights. It allows us to make informed decisions for our own families and shape the decisions made by professionals and in systems.

“This above all, to thine own self, be true.” —William Shakespeare

Expanding Your Voice Define your advocacy skills to impact reform within child-serving systems to shape and affect policy and procedures. 2. Understand your personal limitations; set boundaries to avoid compassion fatigue.

Look for Opportunities to Share Your Voice Advocacy with local government Participation in funding and resource decisions Participation in staff hiring and training Participation in program development Participation in quality management and evaluation Engaging other family members in leadership

Risks We Take Along the Way 1. Sharing remorse Sharing remorse is wishing you hadn’t said so much or feeling like you were pushed to say more than you meant to share. Now you are worried about negative reactions, which do sometimes happen. 2. Judgement about your credibility Sometimes people who listen to our stories may dismiss us as too “emotionally involved” and make assumptions that we can’t be objective or professional. Some people are not comfortable with emotion or stories, preferring “hard” facts and data. These judgments about credibility can affect working relationships, opportunities, and even jobs! Sometimes, it is a result of sharing too much Red Area information discussed earlier. Other times, it is because we misjudged a person’s interest or intentions in seeking out more information. 3. Being labeled We all want to be respected for the experience, knowledge, and education we bring. When we share personal information, we risk being labeled or, as previously stated, considered “too emotional”. By sharing, we risk exposing we’re part of a group that has stigma attached to it in our society. 4. Painful memories This impacts both us and whoever is listening. We may unintentionally bring up emotions we thought we had dealt with or may ignite memories we thought had been buried. 5. People only hear what they want “People only hear what they want to hear” means they don’t always want to hear the entire story! Many just want the success story with the fairy tale happy ending, not the challenges associated with the journey. 6. Impact on family relationships Keep in mind that what we share about members of our family affects them, too! In the age of social media and the internet, we must keep in mind that what we say could impact them personally today or later in life. Always discuss what you plan to share with those you are mentioning in your stories. Make sure you know what they are ok with and what they aren’t. Leave out personal names and pay attention to the impact of what you are sharing for you and them. Taken from Foster Care Alumni (2006). Strategic Sharing.

To ensure we minimize these risks, we must be careful and targeted in what we choose to share, who we share with and how we relay the information.

Words of Advice for the Journey Take the “fire in your belly” and use it purposefully Gain knowledge and skills to serve as agents of change Recognize your capacity to lead regardless of your designated position within your organization/setting Develop strategies to sustain yourself as a leader in chaotic, difficult and challenging environments Make a commitment to your leadership role Never underestimate the potential of your influence Stephany Bryan, TX Family Leader, Austin

Making a Difference with Our Personal Journeys requires deliberate attention dedicated resources, and capacity building at EVERY Level to build an effective system.

Questions

Contact Information Barbara Granger, Family Engagement Specialist Texas Institute for Excellence in Mental Health, University of Texas Email: barbara.granger@austin.utexas.edu Phone: 361-318-3014