The Styles and Communication

How to Recognise: D-Style Says what they think, shows their feelings Communication goes only one way - from them Impatient listener or may not listen at all Own opinions are told as facts Allows little discussion on decisions & topics Very little small talk - focus is on results and big picture Assumes control of the conversation May interrupt frequently Thinks “How this can benefit me?” “What’s the bottom line?” How to Recognise: D-Style

How to Recognise: I-Style D Can be indiscreet as they’re often open about themselves Uncomfortable with silences & talks to fill them in Needs to contribute, so doesn’t listen very long and can interrupt Likes the interaction and social aspect Can get enthusiastic when agreeing Focuses on emotions but may not assess what’s being said Talkative and inspiring Uses stories with ‘I’ in them Prefers pleasant or fun issues - avoiding conflict and detail Gives good constructive feedback Searches for commonality but strays off topic & loses sense of time Likes to listen in readiness to respond i.e. talk Can be frustrating for the other styles I’s are listening for connection & commonality (search for similar stories or analogies) Use stories with ‘I’ was’ or ‘I did’ …They’re really saying “same here, I can relate to your story because it’s also mine’ Responsive style means that they don’t listen very long, especially if they cant contribute or participate in the conversation. distracted with all the stories they could tell you Pure, quiet listening is a big ask for the I-style Enthusiastic listeners showing excitement when agreeing When its about people or in readiness to give people advice! If topic interests them they provide encouraging verbal and non-verbal feedback If topic too detailed or fact oriented - hard for them to concentrate and they lose focus. Therefore may not thoroughly assess what is actually being said. Details can be lost (focus on feelings & emotions of speaker incl. subtle nuances & body language. Asking to summarise shows what detail or facts missed or what differently heard than spoken. Not known for being great listeners too talkative - overly chatty - self absorbed. They’re enthusiastic listeners & love the interaction & opportunity to socialise

How to Recognise: S-Style D Answers when asked and doesn’t interject Talks calmly and logically Talks about issues they’ve mastered Prefers to talk one-to-one (not large groups) Often a good instructor as they’re patient Not overly animated Doesn’t tend to offer a lot of feedback Communication in one direction – they listen. Engages fully, actively pays attention - a patient and empathetic Focuses on the message but can resist if it means change. Sees a variety of viewpoints. Focus on the negative and subdues excitement. May nod - even when disagreeing

How to Recognise: C-Style D Prefers written communication Masters details but often loses the essentials Tends to avoid conflict Doesn’t like talking about opinions or abstract matters Likes to discuss issues substantiated by facts and proof – refers to rules Tends to be comfortable with silences – time to think Has difficulty if information is not presented logically. Can get hung up on the details. Critical. Looks for errors. Attentive if interested. Very eager to learn. Asks a lot of questions to determine genuine facts. Doesn’t provide much feedback. Good listeners if the topic is not abstract and emotional Can be uncomfortable with expressing emotions They can thoroughly engage if facts and arguments are presented logically Ability to listen and analyse at the same time - lack of response at times as they are usually running it past their radar of what they believe to be true!! As they sit over on the ‘process’ side of the quadrant of course they tend to have a slower reaction time while they are thinking. As curious listeners, C’s connect best with others through examining the content of the conversation itself to ensure quality of the information they are receiving – as making a mistake, especially regarding accuracy, is a fear of the C-style. Clarifying and analysing at the beginning of the conversation helps to avoid the clutter. However, they can get hung up in the details of the interaction rather than seeing the bigger picture. Constant questions about smaller aspects can be seen to stunt conversation flow and cause frustration at times – especially if they are listening to an I –style! But their questions a way to clarify or logical process information they need to deal with. Not to do with trying to trip you up Conversations that are emotionally charged are often difficult for C’s to participate in. Analytical nature means that they can come across as a bit aloof at times They are far more comfortable dealing with the tangible things: facts, numbers, proof and detail. If you haven’t checked the facts or logic of what you are speaking about they will be the ones to question you on it.

Communicating with D-Style Do Be direct Give immediate feedback Concentrate on the subject Act quickly Provide alternatives Show interest Don’t Provide too much information Talk too much Lose focus Take issues personally Slow down

Communicating with I-Style Do Maintain a positive atmosphere Take time to chat Be more enthusiastic Focus on the people aspect Focus on the big picture Don’t Talk about too many details Fail to socialise Bring up negative issues Be too practical Set too many restrictions Isolate them

Communicating with S-Style Do Proceed in a logical order Ask specific questions to find out true needs Provide support Provide precedents to reduce uncertainty Remember fairness Don’t Make unexpected changes Forget to provide enough information Move too fast Be impatient Be unreliable

Communicating with C-Style Do Listen carefully Answer questions calmly and carefully Be thorough - include all the details Slow down your speech Assess key issues & focus on them Don’t Move too fast Expect decisions right away Spend too much time on small talk Lose patience in providing correct & thorough information