Different for girls –female autism Thursday 26th January 2017 SWALSS Sarah Wild – Headteacher Limpsfield Grange School Sarah Wild@head_limpsfield

Aims of the session: Who I am! How autism presents differently in girls Anxiety, meltdowns and self regulation Mental health Social vulnerabilities Relationships

Limpsfield Grange

Social interaction Social communication and language Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities Sensory difficulties Getting it wrong Being mothered Bullying Mean girl gene Social engineering Social interaction: Desire to interact Aware of differences Periphery Immature Passive People pleasing Linguistic skills Hierarchy Social expectations

Why do I feel so different to everyone else Why do I feel so different to everyone else? I’m just trying to be normal. How do I get normal? ‘together we make a difference’

Masking: Watching Suppressing Replicating “Passing” for NT Exhaustion Meltdowns Isolation Women and girls with HFA usually develop a very accurate normal mask which we put on whenever we face the world. The normal mask represents an autistic person in hiding – Alis Rowe

‘together we make a difference’ Restricted patterns of behaviour & specialist interests Boys –technical /facts Girls –people/animals Boundaries Perfectionism Consequences Anger / confusion when things do not conform to rules or expectations ‘together we make a difference’

Katie & the photos (7.19)

Social Imagination: Better communication Imaginary friends / MOLW Being someone else Social risk Extreme vulnerabilities V intense feelings

Anxiety – a wild, savage beast … ‘together we make a difference’

Abi’s epic shutdown (15.00)

Anxiety Behaviours Sensations Emotions Triggers Naming it What would help you to feel better? Check ins 5 mins problem identification 5 mins problem solving 5 minutes moving on

‘together we make a difference’

Prepare for change & build flexibility Social Stories Comic strip conversations

‘together we make a difference’ Female autistic meltdowns Imploding Withdrawing Shutdowns Keeping it together all day Blaming self Extreme sadness Isolation Exhaustion Self punishment – food / harm/exercise ‘together we make a difference’

Teaching self regulation techniques Talking Breathing Language Phone Apps iPods Mindfulness Walking Animals

Meltdowns are not fun. It’s like being stuck on a rollercoaster for eternity …. In the dark with flashing lights. Everything stops making sense. ‘together we make a difference’

Visual tools ASD Secondary Outreach Limpsfield Grange

The incredible 5 point scale

Self harm Behaviour = communication Negative feelings Unhappiness Engaging others Frustration A real and persistent desire to die What we have tried Check ins Language of emotions Personalised approaches Staff training Self harm policy

1 in 3 of ASC population – more in women? 70% of Asperger’s population Anxiety Depression & social isolation OCD Gender Identity Disorders Eating disorders BPD Wider mental health disorders Suicidal ideation Insufficient understanding Patchy support Autism v mental health Limits economic viability

X 7 ½ suicide rates of ASC males Specialist interest Planning Accelerating to the end

Friendships Building Maintaining Repairing Ending Families Romantic Lack of relationships = unhappiness

Social: Social Belonging Manipulating Masking Social imagination Self-esteem Social: Social isolation & exclusion Demands of employment v cognitive energy Mental health risks Family breakdown Long term support Stalking Vulnerabilities – the Hand of Trust Sex & Relationships Education Self Esteem

But are we thinking about mental & emotional wellbeing in the right way? QoL project What makes autistic girls happy NT happiness v ASC happiness Happiness – feeling liked, belonging, being accepted and celebrated for who you are is the key