Family & Social Health Coach Schneider Unit 3

Family & Social Health “Abstinence is a choice, and it’s a choice every day, one day at a time. The decisions you make today directly impact your tomorrow. Choosing abstinence means choosing to take control of your destiny.” -A.C. Green, Former L.A. Lakers player and current author, speaker, and youth mentor

A.C. Green – 4X NBA Champion

Family & Social Health Barry Sanders – Pro Bowl Selection 10X (Played 10 years) David Robinson – “Admiral” NBA Champion, Gold Medalist, All-Star

Family Basic rule of society Extended family members Roles Members of the family in addition to parents, brothers, and sisters. Roles Parents & Guardians Setting example Discussions Expecting behaviors Enforcing consequences

Family Role of Grandparents Other family members Dysfunctional Family Reinforce behaviors and skills taught by parents and guardians Other family members Practice behaviors taught by parents, guardians and grandparents Dysfunctional Family Family that doesn’t promote loving, responsible relationships

Healthy Family Relationships Self-Respecting Behavior Treating oneself in healthful and responsible ways Value of others Self-centered behavior – an action that fulfills personal needs with little regard for the needs of others Healthy attitudes towards sexuality Sexuality – feelings and attitudes a person has about their body, sex role, and relationships. Learning healthful sex roles Sex Role – behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs that a particular cultural group considers appropriate for males and females on a basis of their biological sex.

Family Effective communication skills Clear sense of values Value – standard or belief Responsible decisions Resolve conflict Conflict – disagreement between two or more people or two or more choices

Family Coping skills Delayed Gratification Express affection Voluntarily postponing a reward in order to complete a task or responsibility Express affection Fond or tender feeling that one has towards another Acts of kindness (give and receive) Work ethic Attitude of discipline, motivation, and commitment towards a task

Family Respect authority Authority – power and right to apply laws and rules Curfew – fixed time when a person is to be home

Dysfunctional Family Chemical Dependence – or drug addiction Compelling desire to use a drug even though it harms the body, mind, or relationships Codependence Neglecting oneself to care for, control, or try to “fix” someone else Addiction Compelling desire to use a drug or engage in a specific behavior, continued use despite negative consequences, and loss of control

Dysfunctional Family

Dysfunctional Family Perfectionism Violence Domestic violence Abuse Compelling need to be flawless Violence Use of physical force to injure, damage, or destroy oneself, others, or property Domestic violence Abuse by one person in a relationship to control the other Abuse Harmful or cruel treatment of another person “No excuse for abuse”

Dysfunctional Family Child abuse Spouse abuse Parent abuse Elder Abuse Abandonment When a person chooses to give up or refuses responsibility for those in their care Mental Disorder Mental or emotional condition that makes it difficult for a person to live in a normal way.

Codependent Relationships Intimacy Deep and meaningful kind of sharing between two people Enmeshment Condition in which a person becomes obsessed with the needs of another person and no longer can recognize their own needs Interdependence Condition in which two people depend upon one another, yet each has a separate identity

Improving Dysfunctional Relationships Intervention Therapy Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Recovery program for people who are dependent on alcohol and other drugs Al-Anon Recovery program for people who have family members or friends who have an addiction Alateen Recovery program for teens who have family members or friends with an addiction

Divorce (14)

Divorce Marital Separation Divorce Cessation of cohabitation between a married couple by mutual agreement or judicial decree Divorce Legal way to end a marriage in which court decides the terms with respect to property, child custody, and spousal support.

Divorce – What Happens? Stage One Stage Two Marriage deteriorates; partners show less affection and begin to detach from one another. Conflict resolution may be tried. First stage may last several years. Stage Two One or both partners seek legal counsel. Annulment Legal way to end a marriage when its decided the marriage wasn’t legally binding Dissolution Legal way to end a marriage in which partners themselves decide terms with respect to property, custody, and support

Divorce – What Happens? Stage Three Stage Four Issues regarding property, and support payments are finalized Property examples - house, car, jewelry, money, etc. Stage Four Issues of custody, visitation, child support negotiated, and the divorce is finalized Single Custody Arrangement in which one parent keeps legal custody Joint Custody Both parents have legal custody Visitation Rights Guidelines set for visitation for non-custody parent

Divorce – What Happens? Stage Five Stage Six Each partner establishes a new identity with family, friends and co-workers Stage Six Each partner makes emotional adjustments to the new lifestyle. Effects both partners and children

Effects of Divorce

Effects of Divorce Feeling of loss of control Spending less time with parents Declining academic performance Grieving Acting out with harmful behaviors Resenting parental dating Having difficulties in relationships Symptoms of anxiety and stress

Changes Single Custody Joint Custody Standard of living change Change in role models Change in amount of parental supervision Step Family Family rule changes Change in budget Change in relationships

Other Family Changes Family member called to Active Duty Parent goes to jail Parent loses a job

Initiating Friendships

Initiating Friendships Conversation Verbal exchange of feelings, thoughts, ideas, and opinions Rejection Feeling of being unwelcome or unwanted Conversation Keepers & Conversation Killers Dating Having social plans with a person in whom you are interested

Dating Dating skills People pleaser Takers or Users Skills that help a person when they are dating People pleaser Is a person who constantly seeks the approval of others Takers or Users

Setting Limits Affection Respect Sexual feelings Fond or tender feeling that a person has toward another Respect High regard for someone or something Sexual feelings Strong physical attraction

Abstinence Responsible decision Reputation Promotes health Protects safety Follows laws Shows respect for self and others Follow guidelines of parents/guardians Reputation Persons overall character as judged by other people

Peer Pressure Influence that people of similar age or status place on others to behave in a certain way Self-Respect Having high regard for oneself because one behaves in responsible ways

Harmful Relationships (17) People Pleaser Person who constantly seeks approval of others Enabler Person who supports harmful behaviors of others Clinger Person who is needy and dependent (demanding) Fixer Person who tries to fix other people’s problems Distancer Person who is emotionally unavailable

Harmful Relationships Controller Person who is possessive, jealous, and domineering Center Person who is self-centered Abuser Person who is abusive Liar Person who doesn’t tell the truth Promise Breaker Person who is not reliable

Marriage Commitment (18)

Marriage Committment Commitment Five Stages of Marriage When two people marry, they take vows, or make promises Five Stages of Marriage First Stage – First two years Maintain individual identity as a family is formed Develop cooperation and reduce the need to control each other Develop a sexual bond that leads to deeper intimacy Develop effective decision making style Recognize difficulties from parent relationships and anticipate how they may affect their marriage

Marriage Commitment Stage Two – (Year 3-10) Recognize and confront weaknesses of both partners Examine relationship and avoid dysfunctional behaviors Reaffirm commitment to sexual intimacy, including sexual fidelity Examine the influence of children on marriage and agree upon child raising methods

Marriage Commitment Stage Three – (11-25yr) Maintain individual identities and develop mutual dependence Recognize neither person will be perfect and forgive mistakes Confront crisis of middle age, including aging, sexuality, and job, and financial security Maintain and develop intimacy

Marriage Commitment Stage Four – (26-35yr) Stage Five – (36yr +) Reevaluate tasks from previous stages Recognize the physical changes that accompany aging and affect sexuality, and to rekindle romance Grieve over losses such as the death of parents and children leaving home Stage Five – (36yr +) Prepare for retirement Renew intimacy and develop ways to continue sexual intimacy Prepare for death and for the death of the marriage partner

Parenthood