Working with families who don’t say please and thank you Vincent Docherty 18.04.2018

Conflict is normal

What common types of conflict do residential homes face? From residents From commissioners From regulators From staff From families…….

Key Steps Adjust your mindset Clarify Define Mediate Resolve

Understand and Listen Linked to clarifying

Show that you care Don’t defend the indefensible! Don’t sell yourself short either Modern domestic abuse, modern slavery and self neglect new categories from previous Pan London.

Focus on solutions If you feel that you know what will make your family happy, tell them how you'd like to correct the situation. You could say, "I know you want us to find your loved one’s clothes. I will call our other colleagues to see if they are in other residents rooms, and, if they are, I'll drop them into your loved one’s room no later than 5:00pm this evening." If you're not sure you know what your family wants from you, or if they resist your proposed solution, then give them the power to resolve things. Ask them to identify what will make her happy. For instance, you could say, "If my solution doesn't work for you, I'd love to hear what will make you happy. If it's in my power I'll get it done, and if it's not possible, we can work on another solution together."

Difficult families don’t have to be difficult

Emotional Awareness

Emotional Literacy Controlled emotional involvement Purposeful use of emotions Acceptance Non judgemental approach

6 principles underpinning conflict management Partnership Good communication – emotional awareness Prevention Proportionality Empowerment Accountability

Expert in end of life care St Christopher’s provides and promotes skilled and compassionate end of life care of the highest quality, working with, and through, our communities.   info@stchristophers.org.uk stchristophers.org.uk St Christopher’s is registered charity number 210667