Listening
Passive Listeners- letting the person speaking do all the work while we go along for the ride. Active Listeners- Playing an active role in the conversation by guiding the speaker toward common interests. “Nature has given us one tongue, but two ears so that we may hear twice as much as we speak” -Epictetus
Listening is also critical to success in family and friend life Listening is the receiving part of the communication process. Studies show that only approximately 25% of what we hear is remembered.
The GAP between listening and speaking We speak at 120- 180 words per minute BUT we hear and process much quicker
Ways to Listen Appreciative listening- The most basic style of listening. We appreciate when we listen to music, a bird’s song or the murmur of a brook. Discriminative Listening- When we want to single out one particular sound from a noisy environment. Empathic Listening- Encouraging people to talk freely without fear of embarrassment. Critical Listening- Evaluating what we hear and deciding if another person’s message is logical.
Bad Habits Make for Bad Company Tuning out dull topics Faking attention Yielding to distractions Criticizing delivery of physical appearance Jumping to conclusions Overreacting to emotional words Interrupting
Tuning out dull topics Many people decide to tune out topics early on. Don’t have MEGO (my eyes glaze over) syndrome. Find value in what the speaker is saying
Faking Attention Don’t assume that a speaker just wants their audience to look at them. Create a mental paraphrase of what the speaker is saying.
Yielding to distractions Peripheral noises or movements effect our concentration Block out distractions and concentrate
Criticizing delivery or physical appearance Don’t occupy yourself with someone’s physical appearance. The CONTENT is what matters
Jumping to conclusions BE PATIENT Don’t hold a bias against a person because of their background.
Overreacting to emotional words We react to certain words or phrases that we may not agree with. Stay calm and listen to the speaker’s main ideas before interjecting
Interrupting “We never listen when we are eager to speak.” La Rochefoucauld Try time listening and understanding
Filter Listeners filter what they hear based on their backgrounds and personalities Filters become problems when they interfere with good listening.