Self-Concept

Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem Self-Concept = “The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself.” Physical appearance Skills Social roles Personality Emotional state Self-Esteem = How you feel about your self-concept. Good or bad evaluations High and Low Self-Esteem

Development of the Self-Concept Reflected Appraisal - “I see me how I think you see me.” Social Comparison – How do you measure up? Superior or Inferior? Same or Different From Others?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies “Occur when a person’s expectations of an event and her or his subsequent behavior based on those expectations make the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true.” Two Types: Self-imposed prophecies Others’ expectations (that are communicated to us)

Characteristics of the Self-Concept The Self-Concept is Subjective: May be unrealistically favorable, or unrealistically negative Obsolete information Distorted feedback Myth of perfection High self-esteem may be viewed as being conceited A Healthy Self-Concept is Flexible The Self-Concept Resists Change Appraisals from someone we see as competent to offer it Appraisal must be highly personal Appraisal must be reasonable, compared to our current self-concept Consistent and numerous appraisals are more persuasive

So how do you change your self-concept? Have Realistic Expectations Have a Realistic Perception of Yourself Surround Yourself with Supportive People Be Willing to Change Attain Skills to Change Books Advice (friends, experts, counselors) Observe others

Exercising your Self-Esteem From McKay, M., Fanning, P., Honeychurch, C., & Sutker, C. (1999). The self-esteem companion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Think back to a time you felt really successful A Quick Pick-Me-Up Think back to a time you felt really successful Remember a time you did something important for someone else Think of a time you felt really cared for and loved Relax, can close your eye Touch your thumb to each finger Practice this, and can use it as a quick reminder of feeling better Remember loving someone else

Revisioning Your “Critic” As a Politician As a Spokesmodel As a Telemarketer As a Madman “Your own worst critic” Critic is the combination of all the negative things you’ve heard about yourself over the years. “You’re not good enough”, “You must be stupid”, “You’re lazy” Critic seems overpowering, intimidating. Revision so that you can fight back more easily. Politician – not trustworthy, don’t have to believe, can boo and hiss off the stage Spokesmodel – Selling something you don’t want, just say “no thanks” Telemarketer – Pushing something on you, you can just hang up and go back to what you were doing Madman – Try not to make eye-contact and keep on walking Anything else that will help you to not take the critic so seriously. Any other ideas?

A Talk with an Older, Wiser You Lie down, close your eyes, and relax. Imagine a scene from your young adult life when you broke up with someone, lost a job, failed in school, made a bad decision, damaged a friendship, or experienced some other painful event. Set the scene for yourself with all the people, places, and things necessary to make the memory come to life. Watch the scene and notice what you said and did to contribute to this unfortunate outcome. When the scene is over, take your younger self aside and introduce yourself as a more grown-up version from the future. Comfort your young adult self by saying: You will learn how to love and be loved I know you will make a difference in the world You can be a success on your own terms You’re acting normally for your age You’re doing the best you can to survive Often you have no choice in the matter

Include a positive interpretation of your younger self’s behavior Include a positive interpretation of your younger self’s behavior. Give your younger self a hug and say good-bye. Promise to return when you are needed. Rerun this scene from your young adult’s point of view, and enjoy being reassured and supported by your older self. Then run through the scene once more, acting as you might have if you had it to do over again today, with a more mature perspective. Congratulate yourself on what you have survived and learned in life.

Self-Presentation Identity Management

The Private (“Perceived”) Self The Public (“Presenting”) Self

Characteristics of Identity Management We Construct Multiple Identities/Roles Identity Management is Collaborative Impression Management Can Be Intentional or Unconscious Some People Self-Monitor (Manage their Identities) More than Others