A Personal Experience in Personnel Management & Human Relations Presented by: Virgilio C. Boado, P – IV of PEQNHS during the 3 – day Seminar Workshop for School Heads at Bacnotan NHS August 22 – 24, 2012

Prerequisites to Good School Management Trust Rapport Common vision

Know what is going on at your school Ask Questions But remember Probe; don’t cross examine Probe; don’t coach Inquire; don’t challenge Uncover; don’t trap Draw out; don’t pump Guide; don’t dominate

Get out of your office and see what is going on Walk the halls Get into classrooms Talk to teachers and other school employees in a tactful, nonthreatening manner

Create a Positive Atmosphere Don’t let the desk be a barricade Begin conversations in a friendly and informal manner Be goal oriented and accomplish identified tasks, but remembering people are people first!

Practice active listening Paraphrase feelings accurately Paraphrase content accurately—repeat the content of what is heard in own words Use door openers—”Tell me more…”; “Sounds interesting” Use acknowledgment responses—”Mm- mm”; “Yes”; “Right”; “Certainly” Use non-verbals—Look at the person; nod head; lean forward

Teacher begins crying Let the teacher cry; then try to reassure Offer a tissue; remain silent for a while; use a soothing tone of voice In extreme cases, stop the conversation and reschedule for another time Try to change the subject; find something in common or something positive to discuss

Teacher is angry Smile and give positive responses Ask, “Is there anything you would like to discuss before with me before we…….. State, “Remember, we are here to work together” Be confident; maintain good eye contact Put some distance between you and the teacher DON’T Argue DON’T allow the teacher to be abusive Ignore offensive language Remain CALM

Teacher shows confusion Ask --“Would you like for me to clarify something?” Rephrase the statement Ask --“What is the nature of your confusion?” State --“I’ll help if I can, or if I don’t know, I’ll find the answer”

Teacher is frustrated Try to minimize stress by talking informally for a brief time Take a short break, if possible Explain that perfection is not expected Emphasize strengths Try to identify the cause of frustration Be supportive Try to make a positive statement

Teacher receives suggestions, but becomes defensive Use another term for “need,” such as “area to strength,” “area for refinement,” or “area” for improvement” Prepare the teacher during orientation to expect suggestions Emphasize that everyone can improve State-- “This is one area I noticed that you might want to work on” Ask-- “Could you add something to this suggestion?” Encourage the teacher to express his feelings

Be an Empathetic Listener Demonstrate an open, accepting attitude through body language and furniture placement Give the staff member complete attention and concentrate on the their words and body language Limit remarks— let the staff member do most of the talking Listen and look for feelings Help the them stay on the subject

Be an Empathetic Listener Don’t think ahead planning an answer— think about what the person is saying Don’t attempt to analyze the person Don’t judge or categorize the person or form a biased opinion Don’t tell a someone “not to feel that way”— that is beside the point—the fact is the they do feel that way Don’t complete sentences for them

The 21 Greatest Ideas In Human Relationships - By Bill McGinnis 1. "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF“ God's most important commandment for all mankind. This is the starting point Q. And who is our neighbor? Every other person is our neighbor. But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we still don't like the other person very much Q. What can we do in cases like this ? By Rev. Bill McGinnis, Director - LoveAllPeople.org

21 Greatest Ideas…………. 2. FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON - Neutralize anger/ resentment by making a direct conscious decision to forgive the other person 3. TREAT THE OTHER PERSON THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED. - The "The Golden Rule" Apply this rule to almost any situation, and you will not be far wrong. The Golden Rule puts The Law Of Love into action. The remaining eighteen ideas are specific applications of The Golden Rule to different kinds of situations.

4. SMILE AND BE FRIENDLY . 5. BE COURTEOUS 6. BE TRUTHFUL, WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE.

7. REMEMBER THE OTHER PERSON'S NAME, AND USE IT FREQUENTLY. 8. DON'T ARGUE 9. FIND AREAS OF AGREEMENT – Relationships are much better this way

10. DON'T CRITICIZE - Criticism is poison to good human relationships 10. DON'T CRITICIZE - Criticism is poison to good human relationships. It builds hostility and bad attitudes. 11. SHOW HONEST APPRECIATION. 12. TRY TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW

13. GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION TO THE OTHER PERSON WHEN HE IS TALKING 14. TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S INTERESTS. 15. ADMIT YOU MAY BE WRONG - This idea is surprisingly powerful and useful!!

16. LET THE OTHER PERSON DO MOST OF THE TALKING 17. LET THE OTHER PERSON TALK ABOUT HIMSELF. 18. LET THE OTHER PERSON TAKE SOME CREDIT.

19. LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE (maintain dignity)

20. HOLD THE OTHER PERSON, AND YOURSELF, TO HIGH AND NOBLE STANDARDS. People tend to live up to the expectations others have of them – whether more or less. 21. GO THE EXTRA MILE – do something more than the other person expects of you

For effective Human Relations