MEDIATION TRAINING
How I Deal With Conflict 3 Words - Feel 1 Thing - Gain “FIRST NAME” How You Want People To Treat You How You Are Willing To Treat Others How I Deal With Conflict
EGGSPEKTAYSHUNS Training Skills Knowledge To Support Ideas
NORMS Honor House Keeping Respect & Dignity Kindness Interested & Engaged Positive Intentions Be Open Confidentiality
DEALING WITH CONFLICT Disagreement Win / Lose Misunderstanding Problem Solve Confrontation Avoid
FIGHT Violence FLIGHT Walk Away FLOW Problem Solve
No Resolution / Lose Respect FIGHT + Release of Anger - Injury / Violence FLIGHT + Time To Think / Cool Off - No Resolution / Lose Respect FLOW + All Sides Heard - False Resolution
THE CONFLICT WALL Who did what to whom and what happened? Mary took Susie’s stuff without asking and Susie hit Mary. 1 example per category
CONFLICT CATEGORIES Data or Information (rumors/gossip) Structure or Process (rules) Interests, Wants, Needs (basketball /job) Relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend) Values (culture, religion, politics, respect)
A Mediator Is... A Mediator Is Not... Listener Neutral Trustworthy Judge Know It All Opinionated
STAGES OF MEDIATION SETTING THE STAGE - Introduction - Rules - Storytelling - Needs - Solution - Agreement -Closure POST MEDIATION
STAGE 1 (Intense Emotions) Goal Mediators Introduction Familiar? Confidentiality STAGE 2 (Building Rapport and Trust) Goal Rules Alternate Check for Understanding Who Goes First
LISTENING GOOD POOR Eye Contact Questioning Interrupting Wandering Eyes
STAGE 3 Goal Listen Restate X Crosstalk Alternate Clarifying Questions Anything new to add? Summarize
M F M F CROSSTALK
SUMMARY STAGE 3 Defines Problem Separate “fact” from “supposition” (I know vs. I Think) Understand Feelings
Excitements Hopes & Wishes New Information Complaints With Suggestions For Change Puzzles Appreciations
FEELINGS
R Restate – So what I hear you saying… Encourage – Tell me more about… Summarize – So what I heard you say was… Questioning – How, who, what, when, where NEVER use Why E S Q
NEUTRALITY RIGHT WRONG
GOOD AGREEMENTS FAIR = BALANCED SPECIFIC $ Who, What, Where, When, How REALISTIC “Doable”
E R T L
LOOK FOR GOOD SOLUTIONS SO PEOPLE GET WHAT THEY NEED
When I get really mad I… When someone gets mad at me I… When someone near me gets mad I…
ANGER FEELINGS WORDS ACTIONS