Communication and Relational Dynamics Chapter topics Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships

Why We Form Relationships Appearance Is especially important in the early stages Partners create “positive illusions,” viewing another as more attractive over time Similarity We like people who are similar to us Similarity is more important to relational happiness than communication ability

Why We Form Relationships Complementarily Differences strengthen relationships when they are complementary Each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s needs Reciprocal Attraction We like people who like us – usually People who approve of us, bolster our self-esteem

Why We Form Relationships Competence We like to be around talented people If a person is too talented it can be difficult to be around them because they make us look bad Disclosure Revealing information about yourself can help to build liking Not all disclosure leads to liking

Why We Form Relationships Proximity We are likely to develop relationships with people we interact with frequently Allows us to get more information about other people and benefit from relationship Rewards Social Exchange Theory Relationships that give us rewards greater than or equal to the costs of the relationship

Models of Relational Dynamics A Developmental Perspective Mark Knapp Rise and fall of relationships Ten stages Other researchers Coming together Coming apart Relational maintenance

Models of Relational Dynamics Stages of Relational Development Figure 8.1 Page 276

Models of Relational Dynamics Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship Initiating Communication during this stage is usually brief Usually follows a conventional formula Experimenting After initial contact we decide if we wish to pursue the relationship further Uncertainty reduction The search for common ground

Models of Relational Dynamics Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship Intensifying The interpersonal relationship begins to develop The expression of feeling becomes more common Integrating Parties begin to take on identity as a social unit Partners begin to take on each other’s commitments

Models of Relational Dynamics Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship Bonding Parties make symbolic public gestures Commitment is increased during this stage Differentiating The “We” orientation shifts back to “I” The stage is likely to occur when the relationship experiences its first feelings of stress

Models of Relational Dynamics Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship Circumscribing Communication decreases in quantity and quality Restrictions and restraints Stagnating No growth occurs The relationship is a hollow shell of its former self

Models of Relational Dynamics Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship Avoiding Parties begin to create physical distance between each other Indirectly Directly Terminating Includes summary dialogue Relationships don’t always move toward termination in a straight line

Models of Relational Dynamics A Dialectical Perspective Dialectical tensions Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously Several dialectical forces that make successful communication challenging

Models of Relational Dynamics A Dialectical Perspective Dialectical tensions Connection versus autonomy Openness versus privacy Predictability versus novelty

Models of Relational Dynamics A Dialectical Perspective Managing dialectical tensions Denial Disorientation Alternation Segmentation Balance Integration Recalibration Reaffirmation

Characteristics of Relationships Relationships Are Constantly Changing Rarely stable for long periods A cycle in which partners move through a series of stages Relationships are affected by culture A variety of differences can make relationships between people from different cultures challenging

Characteristics of Relationships Relationships Are Affected by Culture A variety of differences can make relationships between people from different cultures challenging

Communicating about Relationships Content and Relational Messages Content Messages The subject being discussed Relational Messages How the parties feel toward one another Types of Relational Messages Affinity Immediacy Respect Control

Communicating about Relationships Metacommunication Messages that people exchange, verbally or nonverbally, about their relationship Communication about communication Important method for resolving conflicts in a constructive manner Can be used as a way to reinforce the satisfying aspects of a relationship

Chapter Review Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships