Responding to and Confirming Meaning Chapter 6 Responding to and Confirming Meaning By: Noah M.P. Spector and Shaofan Bu

Active listening Not merely listening. We “add our words to theirs” –a co-construction of shared meaning. There is an inherent power difference, keeping the client’s purpose and intentions centered prevents the domination of the counselor’s language. Pic # 126457077

Coordinating meanings; Achieving mutual understanding The meaning of words and language is not pre-given. It’s a function of its use and its use varies from speaker to speaker. Same for non-verbals: there are dominant meanings of certain non-verbals, but we can’t count on clients adhering to these. A primary task is to understand another's lived experience. To get at this we have to appreciate what verbals and nonverbals mean for them.

Verifying clients’ intended messages Counselors should provide the client with opportunities to make sure that their intended message is received Cultural curiosity is a posture expressed in practices that help to coordinate meaning making with clients

Seeking understanding through cultural curiosity: Five Key Skills Restating Paraphrasing Confirming the counselor’s understanding Recapping Summarizing

Restating Giving back the client’s words, staying close to their language. Selecting key words spoken by the client that capture the client’s experience from the counselor’s perspective. “You mentioned that you felt really upset for days after what you called that blowout with John, and that now you’re starting to have some new insights about the relationship. Am I capturing some of what you’ve been saying?”

Paraphrasing Using a different set of words to convey what the counselor heard. Gives clients more vocabulary for their experiences. Conveys that the counselor is listening, tells the clients what the counselor understands. “It sounds as though you’ve been fretting about that conversation…anticipating it’ll go badly and finding yourself preoccupied with it…?” Picture # 119950594

“My house, Your house, Our house” Counselor and client approach all topics from the background of their own unique experience. The language used by counselor and client reflect their unique meanings—their “houses” as it were. Via dialogue, counselors and clients co-develop a set of experiences, words, phrases that have mutual meaning. This is like “Our house”

“Experience near” descriptions Trying to stay close to the client’s language Capturing their experience as best as possible in language they use that resonates for them. Staying away from jargon.

Confirming the counselor’s understanding Explicitly: Inviting the client to confirm or correct the counselor’s understanding by using phrases like, “How am I doing?” “Is that right? Implicitly: Raising one’s voice to make a restatement or paraphrase into a question Reading the client’s nonverbal response to a paraphrase or restatement to gauge how well it “fits”. Considering context to assess one’s reading of the client’s experience

Recapping Summarizing a recent stretch of the exchange Can moderate the pace of exchange A moment of pause to consider where to go next A selective process where counselor decides: What they would like to confirm with the client How to convey their status as an ally How to reflect the client’s expressed concerns and aspirations

Summarizing Sometimes used at the start of the session, a way for counselors and clients to “catch up” since they last met. Useful at the end of sessions to provide closure and point the way to next conversation Is more than merely a repetition of a conversation but involves intentionality by counselor: what to highlight, how to present it, etc.

How are we doing? Counselling is a dialogic process where the client contributes as a partner. Consulting with the client on the progress of the work ensure their voice is present Practice-based evidence Client input is “research data” on the effectiveness of the shared process and provides information for making adjustments.

How are we doing? The Session Rating Scale Formalized, in-session process for soliciting client feedback on collective process (see next slide for an example) Stimulates debrief in last ten minutes of a session

The Session Rating Scale Emphasize What we are doing together to avoid implication they are’ rating counselor’ Make sure to inquire What would you like more of/less of? Be non-defensive; constructively explore options for modifications; express appreciation for input