Parenting Styles

Parenting Styles We are all different, therefore, the way we handle parenting will also be different. The kind of person we are and the experiences we have in life help influence the kind of parents we will be. However, this does not mean that the kind of parents we are is predetermined.

Personal Influences on Parenting Our personal characteristics, such as attitudes and qualities, have a great influence on parenting styles.

Personal Influences on Parenting Personality: Special blend of intellectual, emotional, and social traits Very strong impact on children Ex. Happy and carefree, child will likely be the same Ex. Negative traits can be passed on to children Parents need to examine their personalities for any negative characteristics. Often difficult to adjust personalities Ex. learn to manage anger, self-control not easy

Personal Influences on Parenting Feelings about Children: If you don’t like children, you are probably not a good prospect for parenting If you do like children, you have a built-in incentive to be a good parent

Personal Influences on Parenting Parenting Values: Decisions parents make are based on their values Ex. Healthy snacks instead of candy – realize the importance of a healthy diet Parenting Goals: Goal: A conscious target that requires planning and effort to reach Parents who set goals often have a positive parenting experience

Other Influences on Parenting Every experience that you have as you grow up will contribute to the kind of parent you will be. Families: The way your family lives makes up your culture (food, language, religion, customs) Values and beliefs of a family are also part of the culture of the family. Creating and keeping traditions in a family help tie the family together

Other Influences on Parenting Economic Conditions: Depends on the level of family income. Strain of providing an adequate income is hard on a family Money provides security and opportunities Parenting is much easier without serious financial concerns

Other Influences on Parenting Social Policies: Laws in society that insure parents live up to their responsibilities Ex. Domestic abuse, child abuse, divorce, adoption, child care, and welfare Gender Roles: Parenting roles have changed Now that women are a major part of the work force, parents share family responsibilities Children see both parents sharing childcare responsibilities Influences these children and changes the cultural trends Grandparent’s age, mothers provided the child care while fathers earned the family income

Other Influences on Parenting Parental Advisers: Many influential experts in child development have developed theories that deal with each of the ages and stages of child development and explain children’s behaviour. Child development theories distinguish between ages, the length of a child’s life at a given point in time, and stages, the periods of development that children go through as they mature.

Ages and Stages Infant – Birth to the first birthday Toddler – Age one to the third birthday Preschooler – Age three to the fifth birthday School-Age – Age five to puberty Adolescent – Puberty to adulthood

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Authorities on Parenting Sigmund Freud Theorized that childhood experiences, even when forgotten, affect a person’s actions and personality as an adult. Unconscious motives have the strongest effect on personality. Believed that positive and negative sensory experiences, such as those associated with feeding and toilet-training affect personality.

Authorities on Parenting Albert Bandura Believes that environment shapes behaviour and vise versa. Children learn by observing and modeling others. Rewards don’t produce learning but seeing others rewarded is as effective as being rewarded yourself.

Authorities on Parenting B.F. Skinner Development results from learned responses. Children repeat behaviour that is rewarded and avoid behaviour that brings punishment or no reward.

Developing a Parenting Style Parenting Style: The way a parent consistently interacts with children Three categories: Authoritarian Democratic Permissive Parents may combine elements of all three in the way they respond to their children

Developing a Parenting Style Authoritarian Parents are usually strong leaders They make most of the decisions concerning their children and expect their children to accept these decisions. Set certain standards of behaviour for their family – what is allowed and not allowed is very clear Children feel secure Children will have limited failure and disappointment in their life

Developing a Parenting Style Authoritarian Example: Billy has seen a toy at his friend’s house that he would like to purchase. However, the toy is not appropriate for Billy at his age. The authoritarian parent would tell Billy, “No, that is not the right toy for you. Do not buy it! Look for a toy more suitable to your age.”

Developing a Parenting Style Democratic Parents believe that children deserve a say in matters that affect them. Children are given a voice in rules that are developed AND the penalty that will be used when rules are broken. Children gradually develop more say in the decisions as they mature Allows children to move into maturity easily Children gain confidence from being included in the family decision making

Developing a Parenting Style Democratic Example: “That toy is not really in your age grouping. Let’s go to the store and see what other toys you like just as much. I’m sure we can find a toy that will be just as much fun.”

Developing a Parenting Style Permissive Parents allow children all the decision-making responsibility they can handle, offering guidance and protection only when needed. Although parents set fewer rules, their expectations are known Fewer penalties are imposed Children experience the consequence of their choices and learn from this

Developing a Parenting Style Permissive Encourages children to develop and rely on their own abilities Learn from experience and solve problems on their own Example: “You may buy what you like with your money. It’s up to you.”

Choosing a Parenting Style What parenting style would you choose? Why?

Questions?