Positive Discipline Dr. Jane Nelsen

Dr. Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. Dr. Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and San Clemente, CA. She is the author and/or coauthor of Positive Discipline Series.

Dr. Jane Nelson, Ed.D. contd. Jane’s doctorate degree is in Educational Psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1979 and is secondary to the education and experience she achieved from her successes and failures as a mother of seven children. She now shares this wealth of knowledge and experience as a popular keynote speaker and workshop leader throughout the country. Jane is very well received by school districts, teacher organizations, conferences, and parent education networks throughout the world. Letters come in daily from parents and teachers worldwide who have had much success with the principles outlined in her books, workshops, and lectures. She has appeared on Oprah, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Twin Cities Live, and was the featured parent expert on the National Parent Quiz with Ben Vereen

Dr. Nelsen’s “Positive Discipline” Series Book For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside side this book you’ll discover how to : • bridge communication gaps • defuse power struggles • avoid the dangers of praise • enforce your message of love • build on strengths, not weaknesses • hold children accountable with their self-respect intact

What is Positive Discipline? What Is Positive Discipline? Positive Discipline is designed not to make children pay for their misbehavior but rather learn why their misbehavior is inappropriate.

Positive Discipline does not mean permissive. Lets watch a 5 minute clip of Dr. Nelson, herself, explaining this concept in a television interview. Video

Super Nanny Jo Frost Effective Time Out Strategy There are ways that a time out session for children can be effective in teaching children to take responsibility for their actions. Lets watch the Winston Family use this strategy and positive reinforcement. Video # 1 (1:54 min) Video # 2 (2:59 min) Video # 3 (3:00 min)

Suggestive Positive Discipline for Teens

Suggestion 1: Classroom Rules Negative Rules: No running in the room No fighting No gum chewing Positive Rules: Move through the building in an orderly manner. Settle conflicts appropriately Leave gum at home

Special Note Use classroom rules that describe the behaviors you want instead of listing things the students cannot do.

Suggestion 2: Listen to Your Students Negative Listening: Teen: “I hate school. I’m going to drop out” Teacher: “That’s nonsense, you don’t hate school. And I forbid you to drop out” Teen thinking: “Ok. Screw you. If I can’t drop out, I’ll flunk out” Positive Listening: Teen: “I hate school. I’m going to drop out” Teacher: “I’m sorry school feels so terrible. Can you tell me what its like for you?” Teen thinking: “I feel better just having brought this up. Its nice teacher not flipping out on me. Maybe I’ll keep talking. I really don’t want to drop out, but I’m having this problem….. ”

Special Note Show respect Model good listening Be aware of body language Check for understanding Say less

Suggestion 3: Develop Respectable Relationships Create a classroom climate of acceptance Be involved in students extracurricular activities Instill Confidence Help your students find their passion Focus on their strengths Talk to your students using “I” messages

Suggestion 4: Use Behavior Contracts Specifically identify what the expectation is for each behavior Specifically state what the privileges and consequences will be when your student is either following the rules or chooses to break the rule. Set a date when the contract may be advised and/or negotiated.

Special Note Example of a teacher using a form of a behavior contract with one of his student: Video (Start at 1:45; End at 3:20)

Resources http://www.positivediscipline.com/ Building Classroom Discipline, 8th edition The Department of Special Services-Behavior Intervention JaneNeslon.com