CONFLICT 4 WAYS OF DEALING WITH IT

AVOIDANCE Take no action AVOID contact, people, topic

CONQUEST Competition Win-lose Win at all costs AGGRESSIVE Self-focused

COMPROMISE Win-lose (lose-lose?) So-so approach Passive Must be avoided on issues relating to values

ACCOMMODATION Win-lose Gives in Can be passive-aggressive

INTEGRATION Win-win No loser ASSERTIVE, not aggressive Co-operative; everyone is heard and the problem itself is addressed without being lost in an emotional cloud of words Cool heads required!

Emotional atom bombs !! Beware! Naming, shaming and blaming Passive-aggressive - revenge Stonewalling Withdrawal Attack/defence Rewriting or replaying history Always and never-ing Manipulating

Fighting fairly.... No interrupting Tell the truth using “I” messages – kindly! Avoid too many words, excuses Have courage Keep your cool, have Big Match Temp. Look for a resolution, not a win Put yourself in the other’s shoes – identify their perceptions, fears etc

SOLVE the problem S = state the facts; see the problem for what it REALLY is – no blame or opinions O = organise: is there something that can be done immediately? L = Learn all you can about the issue V = Have a vision of what success will look like E = Evaluate afterwards and adjust