How Not to Use Twitter. Dont use it to lose a job offer Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily.

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Presentation transcript:

How Not to Use Twitter

Dont use it to lose a job offer Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the Who is the hiring manager? Im sure they would love to know you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the

Dont use it for sexytime

Dont use the wrong account I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the #motorcity and yet no one here knows how to f*cking Me likey broke U.S. House

Dont say dumb things on rape Poor phrasing, but if you watch the meant to convey that theres less chance of getting pregnant if Politico Lara Logan had to outdo Anderson. Where was her buddy New York University

Dont offer non-apologies Re last night: Bad idea trying to have a nuanced conversation on highly charged issue on here. Did not intend to take a side. Lesson Politico

Dont praise controversial figures Sad to hear of the passing of Sayyed Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah … One of Hezbollahs giants I respect a CNN

Dont say crass things What?!?!?!? No overnight homicide? WTF? Youre slacking Tucson. You stay homicidal, Tucson. See Star Net for the bloody deets. Arizona Daily Star crime reporter

Dont take controversial stands I completely and wholeheartedly support Todd Reynolds and his support for the traditional and TRUE meaning of marriage. Rogers Sportsnet host Damian Goddard I can empathize with everyone I cover except for the anti-gay marriage bigots. In 20 years no one will admit they were part of Washington Post

Dont use sloppy language US sees #Israel as key ally in MidEast but no one running for Pres wants to alienate the power and money of the Jewish

Dont criticize your subjects Occupy Wall Street purpose in 140 or less: bang on the bongos, smoke CNN

Dont misrepresent reporting Eric Gordon told me this: I strongly feel (the Suns) are the right franchise for me. Phoenix is just where my heart ESPN

Dont tweet off-the-record material Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a jackass for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THATS ABC News

Dont make tasteless jokes Or Either Ann Romney meant Mitt is flaccid or that when we unzip him well find hes a dick. Politico

Dont RT falsehoods BREAKING: Confirmed flooding on NYSE. The trading floor is flooded under more than 3 feet of

Dont DM things you wouldnt tweet The fuck I am. That is shirty business what you did. Fix it. Im not fucking National Journal

Dont get in Twitter At this point youre just being a troll and misleading your Twitter followers about what I wrote. Grow New York Times Anyone who knows this stuff knows Im right & ur wrong, but go ahead with ur ad hominems Ur just being a troll and Politico