5.15 Reconsidering the Finer Points

CONNECTION The most famous of all memoirs is called Walden by Henry David Thoreau. In a book about the memoir, Zinsser says, “Walden isn’t really a book about how Thoreau spent his days at Walden Pond. It’s about what went through his head for two years at Walden Pond. In the same ways you’ve learned to write the internal story of your experiences.” But we can’t get carried away and write EVERYTHING. We have to pick and choose what is important.

TEACHING POINT Today I want to teach you that writers reveal themselves not only by bringing out their internal thoughts, but also by spotlighting details that reveal whatever it is they want to show.

TEACHING TV show Monk At the beginning, there are always little details like a cat running across the living room or the neighbor bringing in a cake. These details seem unimportant but are never included by accident! They turn out to be part of the solution to the mystery.

TEACHING Instead of writing “I walked up to my brown front door and went into the house” we ask ourselves Is it important that the door is brown? What details could I include to show important aspects of my story? I walked up to the front door, past the discarded bikes and hula hoops left over from our last day of summer, our last day of play. OR I raced off the bus and started to tear across the lawn toward the house. Then I glanced up and saw a figure behind the living room curtain. “Is Dad home?” I thought, moving quickly from the carefully manicured lawn onto the cement path.

ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT Listen to the memoir and notice places where the author uses details to reveal something about the sort of person he is and the sort of family he belongs to.

ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT A Family Portrait As we approached my grandparents’ sprawling farmhouse last Christmas, my brother and I went silent. In single file, suitcases in hand, we marched down the ramshackle brick path. The storm door slammed shut as we entered the mud room, then trooped up the short flight of stairs, past the boxes of apples, home-laid eggs, and into the kitchen. Catalogs were strewn across the tables, Christmas cards dangled from the walls, Dogs lay curled under tables and chairs, and cousins of all shapes and sizes—thirth-four in all—perched on every surface. In the corner, Virginia’s parrot squawked, “Hello Charlie, Hello Charlie,” as he swung chaotically in his cage. Virginia, the matriarch of the family, furtively scanned the room. In a conspiring tone, she asked, “Did you hear what happened to Bradly?” We had all heard the news. Nevertheless, the room grew silent. “He wrote a lousy essay and got waitlisted at Harvard.” We shook our heads in collective pity. No one spoke, It was as if church bells had rung and the clan was grieving. Bradley had blown it.

ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT Think about the entrance to your house. Remember the first things you see and do. Tell your partner. Use details that reveal what you want to show about yourself, your family, your home.

LINK Remember to ask yourself Is this detail important? What do I want to show about myself? What do I want people to know?

MIDWORKSHOP What if you don’t remember the details? Make up details that could be right!

SHARE You don’t need to put all of your essay part in the front or at the end. You can shift back and forth, like in Eleven. You need good transition words to do this work! Transitional Phrases: Moving From Exposition to Narrative I first realized this when… My first experience with this was… I came to understand this when… When I think of this, I think of the time when… One example of this is when…