Non-Violent Communication on 10 Slides (NVC) Laura Neale St1 GP Trainee

Overview Background Explain NVC Example Important ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ Conclusion

Background Developed by Marshall Rosenberg Related to Ghandi’s philosophy of ahinsa (do no harm) Used worldwide to resolve disputes at various levels

Explaining NVC (1) Actions and words represent attempt to meet our own needs Conflict arises because of miscommunication about needs 2 broad stages 1st = Empathising 2nd = Honest self-expression

Explaining NVC (2) For both stages employ OFNR Formal vs colloquial O = observations (must be neutral) F = feelings N = needs (NOT strategies) R = requests (must be clear and feasible but not demanding) Formal vs colloquial Fluid Spoken vs acted

Example (1) Busy weekend shift… imagine this scenario You have 3 sick patients on the ward that need seeing You have some I.V. antibiotics give 4 patients waiting to be clerked in – the ward sister keeps bleeping you to remind you. (She’s already rang 4 times)

Example (2) Using OFN(R) Stage 1 (empathise) - mop it up:- Neutral observation e.g. “I can see you are very busy” State what they’re feeling e.g. “This must be stressful for you” Acknowledge their needs e.g. “I know you need to clear the backlog to keep the unit running smoothly”

Example (3) Using OFNR Stage 2 (self-expression) – give it back:- Neutral observations – state what is going on in a matter of fact way Tell them how you feel e.g. “I feel stressed by this situation and concerned that the patients get the care they need” Express your needs e.g. “I need to prioritise these tasks based on clinical need. I also need time and space to work through the tasks as best as I can” Make a request e.g. “Would it be possible for you to stop bleeping me to remind me as this is slowing me down – I promise to be with you as soon as I can.”

Do’s and Don’ts Do Don’t Try to understand people Keep practising (emotional pollution) Don’t Express yourself first and ask to be understood (think like a vacuum) Miscategorise someone’s feelings Say what you don’t want rather than what you do Worry more about other’s responses than your own

Conclusion NVC tried and tested tool for improving communication 2-staged process – empathy and honest self-expression Requires lots of practice Nothing ventured, nothing gained!