Building Healing and Helping Relationships - the Heart of Our Work Module 15 Where It Begins. Building Healing and Helping Relationships - the Heart of Our Work 15.0.1

Learning Objectives 15.0.2

Agenda 15.0.3

Developing Relationships with Families Unit 15.1 Developing Relationships with Families 15.1.4

Learning Objectives 15.1.5

Relationship Building: foundation sets the stage for the future promotes caring relationship begins trust 15.1.6 Is the foundation for any casework practice sets the stage for future communication promotes the development of a caring relationship with families begins the development of a trusting relationship

First Impressions Introduction Core conditions Strengths Culture Perspectives Immediate needs 15.1.7

Introducing Yourself to the Family name and program area agency ID card purpose of the visit permission to come inside other family members where you sit something positive 15.1.8

Core Conditions Concreteness Empathy Respect Genuineness Competence 15.1.9

Family Centered Values Families know their family best are doing the best they can maintain solutions that they create have strengths are our partners 15.1.10

Family Strengths Mitigating Risk Reducing Well Being related 15.1.11 Recognize and use a person’s strengths.

Strength Based Language focuses on what is strong, not just what is wrong reframes deficits as opportunities for growth acknowledges and builds on successes presumes a desire for and the possibility of a positive outcome holds the belief that families can and do change, with support and resources models empathy and offers support 15.1.12

Protective Capacities Protective Factors Protective Capacities Strengths 15.1.13 Distinguish between a family strength, a protective factor and a protective capacity. Describe the importance of family strengths to family stability.

Personal Biases How do your personal biases color decision making and relationship building with families? 15.1.14 Define and describe ‘personal bias’.

Cultural Considerations 15.1.15 Summarize cultural considerations in engagement and rapport building..

Difficulties in Establishing Relationships intrusion commit to change trust overwhelmed indifferent ignore 15.1.16 Family members may •resist intrusion •find it difficult to commit to change •not trust strangers or be open with them •be so overwhelmed, issues are difficult to discuss •be indifferent to your efforts and may even see you as the problem, or •simply ignore you Overcoming family members‟ past negative experiences with the agency will present a challenge to the formation of a positive relationship.

Unit 15.2 Self Disclosure 15.2.17

Learning Objectives 15.2.18

Intentionally revealing information about yourself. Self Disclosure Intentionally revealing information about yourself. 15.2.19 Self-Disclosure responses may or may not be appropriate

Is it Appropriate to Discuss? Lifestyle Goals Needs Religious/spiritual beliefs Fears Personal abuse issues 15.2.20

to Answer all Questions Personal Beliefs It is Not Necessary to Answer all Questions Simply decline Explore the client’s motivation 15.2.21

Demonstration 15.2.22 Trainer Demonstration and Discussion •Use the Trainer Demonstration - Self-Disclosure on the next page to present examples of appropriate/inappropriate self-disclosure. Use another trainer or a learner to read the part of the parent. Or, share your own case work examples. •Once you have completed the demonstration, facilitate discussion: What else could have been said to appropriately disclose personal information to the parent? What are the consequences to inappropriate disclosure as in the second example? How would you respond if the parent asked you, “What would you do if your teenage daughter acted like mine?

Feel free not to answer & explain why Provide a short, factual response Return focus to family member 15.2.23 If you are not comfortable answering a personal question: Feel free not to answer and explain why

Do you have any children? Do you and your wife/partner ever fight? Your Turn How old are you? Do you have any children? Do you and your wife/partner ever fight? Do you drink? Have you ever used drugs? Are you from the south? Do you believe in God? 15.2.24

Challenging Family Dynamics Unit 15.3 Challenging Family Dynamics 15.3.25

Learning Objectives 15.3.26

Barriers to Effective Communication 15.3.27

Common Challenging Behaviors Anger/Hostility Resistance Manipulation Avoidance/Denial Depression 15.3.28 When challenging behaviors occur, point out that working to build rapport helps to minimize them. Provide handout ‘Behaviors that Challenge’ the Interview and review techniques. Read Barriers to Effective Communication and discuss the questions below. Large Group Discussion: If you demonstrated some of the inappropriate responses, how do you think you will be received by parents? What kinds of negative behavior might they use in response to your efforts to communicate? How will authority enter into their reactions? Discuss persistent denial and how to address it. Which of these barriers do you think you might use most frequently? Which ones have you demonstrated or caught yourself thinking? Which ones do you think parents or family members might demonstrate? Invite class to share situations in which they have been the recipient of some of these inappropriate responses. Ask how it felt to be received in this manner, and how they responded. Since it is not always possible to predict or prevent these behaviors from occurring during an interview, brainstorm with participants’ techniques they might use to manage or diffuse them.

Anger Hostility 15.3.29 Anger is a feeling of resentment or vengeful displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, or violation of one’s rights. Hostility is a long lasting emotional response connected to a belief and value system. It can be directed against an individual, a nation, a culture, an organization, government, etc.

Reasoning is NOT possible. Reduce level of arousal. De-escalation Keep in Mind: Abnormal Freeze, fight or flee Reasoning is NOT possible. Reduce level of arousal. 15.3.30

Resistance is a behavior that opposes or works against something. It is intended to keep one from yielding to or accepting. 15.3.31 Some Reasons for Resistance • Fear o of being exploited o of the unknown o of failure o of loss of control o of loss of self-esteem • Lack of trust • Learned response to protect personal and family integrity and boundaries • Learned response based on group history • Learned response to experience power (self-empowerment either active or passive)

Resistance as a Strength 15.3.32

Manipulation . 15.3.33

Manipulative family members may: Intellectualize. Rationalize Fantasize Compensate 15.3.34

Manipulation Listen to the distortion of reality or the discrepancy in what the person says. When responding to manipulation confront the distortion, not the person! 15.3.35

Avoidance/ Denial 15.3.36

Identify structured activities Depression Provide support Recognize strengths Build self-esteem Identify structured activities Use tasks with specific words and time limits 15.3.37

Special Situations Under the influence Mental Illness Human trafficking Jail, Hospital Deaf and hard of hearing Foreign language speakers 15.3.38

Role Play With your group- come up with a realistic example of a work situation when you might deal with this particular type of person 15.3.39

The Child Welfare Professional’s Safety in Building Relationships Unit 15.4 The Child Welfare Professional’s Safety in Building Relationships 15.4.40

Learning Objectives 15.4.41

Tips for Ensuring Safety weapon? history? unmanaged mental illness? under the influence? selling drugs? isolated location? dangerous location? after hours? violent or hostile? removal? gang members? dangerous pets? 15.4.42

Safety Considerations? 15.4.43

15.4.44

15.4.45

De-escalation Move The Situation Control of Self Environment Physical Stance Do Not Try To Be A Hero!!! 15.4.46