Junior School Assembly (age 7 to 11)

Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Toilet humour Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. To get to the bottom Introduction This morning we’re talking about going to the toilet. First I’ve got a couple of jokes for you…

Toilet humour Q. What did one toilet say to another toilet? A. You’re looking flushed

The police are investigating but they have nothing to go on! Toilet humour Some thieves broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets. The police are investigating but they have nothing to go on!

No toilet, no joke A lot of people think the toilet is the best invention ever Actually, toilets are no joke. They’re really important. In fact, a lot of people think that the toilet is the best invention ever. Better than the telephone or the TV or the internet. Toilets have saved more lives than even the best medicine in the world.

What if… Imagine what life would be like if you didn’t have a toilet at home. Four people out of every ten people in the world don’t have a toilet. So if ten of you stand up now….yes and then you 6 sit down. These 4 don’t have a toilet. [Optional illustration Buy some packets of fake plastic poo from a joke shop and spread them out over the stage as you talk.]

What would you do when you needed the loo? You might have to go in your garden. Or in a bucket in your bedroom. What do you think your house would smell like? Would your garden be a nice place to play?

What if we didn’t have any toilets in school? What would you do when you needed to go to the loo? What would the school playground look like if every child here did one poo a day outside on the ground?

one billion germs in a teaspoon of poo The problem with poo There are about one billion germs in a teaspoon of poo But there’s something much worse about poo than the smell. Poo is dangerous. There are about one billion germs in a gram of poo. That’s less than a teaspoon of poo. Even the smallest amount of poo can leave millions of germs on your hands and you wouldn’t know it…until you got sick. Germs are invisible. Germs carry diseases. As you’re talking about the problem with poo, casually take out some chocolate and hold it in your hands so it melts. Then touch your face, bite your fingernails, if you’re wearing a white t-shirt you could wipe your hands down it. Offer to shake hands with one of the pupils. Rinse your fingers in some water as you talk about poo getting into the water, then drink the water. End up by washing your hands with soap in a bowl of clean water.]

Poo can be on your hands when you eat. It can get washed into rivers and end up in water that people drink. If you don’t have a proper toilet to go to, poo ends up getting all over the place. It can be on your hands when you eat something, then you get sick. It can get washed into the rivers, and then people drink the water. So what’s the answer to the problem of poo? Toilets, and making sure you wash your hands properly, with warm water and soap, every time you go to the toilet, and before you eat anything.

Flies land on the poo and then land on food. Poo makes kids poorly In lots of places around the world, there aren’t any toilets. Children go to toilet in the open air. Flies land on the poo and then land on food. Children get sick. In lots of places around the world, there aren’t any toilets. And they don’t know about how dangerous poo is. No-one has ever been to their school and told them that it’s really important to wash your hands with soap so you don’t get sick. In lots of places around the world, the children have to go to the toilet in a bush or in the local river. Then they drink the dirty water and they get very poorly. They can’t play because they’re too sick.

When children get sick, they can’t go to school And they’re too sick to go to school. Their mum and dad don’t have enough money to pay for food or pay for school because they spend it on medicine to try and make their children better. All because no-one ever told them how important it is to have a loo, and to wash their hands.

The difference a loo makes In Ethiopia, Tadelech’s eight children were constantly sick In Ethiopia, Tadelech’s eight children were constantly sick, and she spent what little money she had on expensive medicines to try and make them better.

She learnt about the link between sanitation and health and built a toilet for her family Then some people came and told her how important toilets were to stop her kids getting sick. They showed her how to build a lasting latrine using local materials, and told her how important it was to wash their hands with soap after going to the toilet and before eating. Now the money that they used to spend on medicine goes towards her children’s schooling. She can pay for their clothes and good food.   She says this, “Before, it was very bad. We were desperate. We thought we would die because of the disease. We are living very happily now. We believe we will live a long life.” Something as simple as a loo, saves lives.

So what can we do to help? We can twin toilets! Shall we send them our toilets? No, but what we can do is twin our toilets, with a charity called Toilet Twinning. For every one of our loos here, we raise money to pay for loos in places where the people don’t have them, and to pay for people to go to their villages and towns to tell them about how important it is to wash their hands and drink clean water. This is how we’re going to raise money for Toilet Twinning: [Tell them what your school is planning to do…and what you want them to do to help.]   Pray (if appropriate) Hand out stickers