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Presentation transcript:

Paragraph exemplars

Level 2: 60 percent area Walmart does not treat its employees well and its business practices are not appropriate. The low wages, a life insurance policy that is paid back to them and the hiring of illegal immigrants makes Walmart a bad company business wise.

Level 4: 85+ Walmart is giant corporation with stores located all over the United States and North America. Walmart is wildly popular due to its ‘one stop shopping’ opportunities and budget friendly pricing. However, in order to achieve these low prices, Walmart’s business practices suffer on an ethical level. Walmart’s employee wages match their prices, very low. Additionally, Walmart’s employee life insurance benefit plan guarantees Walmart as the beneficiary, not the family of the deceased. Moreover, Walmart’s practice of hiring illegal immigrants makes it harder for legal workers to obtain equal hours and fair labour conditions while simultaneously damaging America’s economy as a whole. Walmart’s business practices are detrimental not only to its workers, but North America at large.

What are the key differences? Word choice Examples Explanations Expansion of the explanations Opportunity to transition to paragraph 2