4.4 Angling Mini-Stories to Support a Point

CONNECTION Working here late last night… What makes a good story? What are the ingredients of a good story?

TEACHING POINT Today I want to teach you that writers make their essays memorable by inserting good stories to support a point.

TEACHING My claim: Little Red Riding Hood learns not to take advice from strangers, but from loved ones. Where in the text does it show this? “Everyone who met Little Red Riding Hood liked her, especially her grandma.” Does that work? Little Red Riding Hood’s mother tells her to look straight ahead, not stray from the path, and say “good morning.” Does that fit? The wolf gives Little Red advice, saying she should go into the forest. Does that fit?

TEACHING Which one is the strongest piece of evidence? Little Red’s mom talking to her. Writers find the parts that shows their claim and pick the strongest part. Then they work to tell that part well, using all the elements of a good story.

TEACHING At the beginning of the story, Little Red Riding Hood learns its better to get advice from a loved one than a stranger. One example is that she gets advice from her mother when she starts off on her trip. Her mother says that when she is walking in the woods, Little Red Riding Hood should “look straight ahead like a good girl.” Little Red listens really carefully to her mom as she’s sharing her advice. “And don’t go off the path and into the woods,” her mom tells her. Little Red Riding Hood promises that she’ll do that, but then a little later when she is in the woods, a wolf… Can you and your partner keep telling the story, using specific details that tie into the big point you’re trying to make?

THE TALE OF LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD It was a bright and sunny morning, Little Red Riding Hood was so happy that at first she wanted to dance through the woods. She whistled to herself as she skipped down the forest path. “My, that’s a cheerful tune,” a friendly voice called out. Little Red Riding Hood stopped and peered around from side to side until she spotted a wolf leaning against a tree. “And where are you going on such a beautiful morning?” he asked. “I am going to my grandmother’s house. She’s been sick in bed,” Little Red Riding Hood explained. “Is it a long journey?” the wolf asked. “Where does your grandmother live?” “Oh, not far,” the girl replied. “Her house is just over the hill by the little stream.” “That’s not far at all,” the wolf agreed. “You should stop and pick her some flowers to cheer her up. There are some lovely flowers right over there.” He pointed to a clearing a short distance from the path. Little Red Riding Hood smiled and stepped off the path to gather the flowers. “Thank you for the advice!” she called out. But the wolf had already left. While Little Red Riding Hood was busy gathering flowers, the wolf hurried ahead to her grandmother’s house.

ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT Now it’s time to do this with the Panyee Football Club. Write in the air with your partner.

LINK A powerful mini-story can make your reader pause and say, “Oh yes! I agree!” If you choose to try this today, your first job is to remind yourself of your claim, then reread the text, finding the parts that make the point you’re trying to make. Then rank them to find the test one. Write your ministory in your booklet under the bullet it fits with, just like you would with any other evidence.

MIDWORKSHOP Remember that mini-stories should focus on the important details only. For example, if you are writing to show how people work together to overcome hard times, you don’t need to say “The boys were wearing gray tank tops” but you might say “Sweat was dripping from their foreheads.” Reread your mini-stories and ask yourselves “Is this detail just extra? Or does it connect to my claim?”

SHARE Go over your mini-stories with your partner. Does the mini-story totally fit the claim, is it starting to fit the claim, or does it not yet fit the claim?