Aurora Lucas & Shanna Syme Transforming language: nonviolent communication in educational settings Aurora Lucas & Shanna Syme

Non-Violent Communication Violent Communication Vs. Violent Communication

Who created NVC and why? Marshall Rosenberg October 6, 1934 - February 7, 2015 He received his Ph.D in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin Conducted trainings in over 60 countries worldwide

Why it’s important to us Aurora & Shanna

Observation vs. Evaluation 1) She procrastinates Vs. She studies for exams the night before ______ 2) You never do what I want The last three times I suggested we do something, you said that you did not want to do it.

Observations John was angry with me yesterday for no reason. Yesterday evening, Nancy bit her fingernails while watching television. My father is a good man.

Feelings I am happy that you can come. I feel like hitting you. I feel misunderstood.

Needs What others say and do may be the stimulus for, but never the cause of our feelings. We have four options as to how to receive the message: Blame ourselves Blame others Sense our own feelings and needs Sense the feelings and needs hidden in the other person’s negative message

Needs I feel frustrated when you come late. I am grateful that you offered me a ride because I was needing to get home before my children arrive. I need to feel popular on campus.

Requests I’d like you to be honest with me about yesterday’s group meeting. I would like you to drive at or below the speed limit. I want you to understand me.

Differentiating observation from evaluation Differentiating feeling from thinking Connecting with the universal human needs in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving).

Empathy VIDEO

Gratitude “MAT 48 professors are the best!”

Feedback Do you have a better understanding of Nonviolent Communication after the presentation? How likely are you to use NVC in your personal life? Why? How likely are you to use NVC in your professional life? Why? Did the presenters work well together? We welcome other comments / thoughts / ideas!