Art of Listening H. Menchine

Emotions Running High We elected a new US President last week Emotions on both sides are running high Some are ecstatic Others are in various stages of grief Social media and the internet is fueling anger One-sided, superficial comments on both sides are preventing real communication

“He’s disgusting” – said the Hillary supporter “She’s disgusting” – said the Trump supporter RACIST! CRIMINAL! NOT MY PRESIDENT! SORE LOSER!

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood” Stephen Covey

Now’s the time to Listen Personally, I am still trying to make sense of everything. Complex problems require deep thinking. I’ve made a personal decision this week to: Manage my emotions in a healthy way Limit my contact with social media and internet. Limit any knee-jerk reactions to make assumptions about people Remain open-minded Seek to learn more and understand opposing views Truly try to listen and see things from another lens

10 Tips for Conversations Helpful advice anytime and especially during the holidays TED talk entitled “10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation” NPR radio talk show host Celeste Headlee

Tip 1 – Don’t Multitask Be present and in the moment Truly be part of a conversation Try not to be distracted by other things when conversing

Tip 2 – Don’t be a “know it all” NOBODY likes a know-it-all Instead assume you have something to learn Bill Nye, the Science Guy once said: “Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t”

Tip 3- Use open ended questions Instead of getting a simple yes or no response You tend to get more interesting answers ?

Tip 4 – Go with the Flow Sometimes thoughts come to you … try to let it go When you interrupt someone, it usually means you stopped listening

Tip 5 – Admit you don’t know Err on the side of caution It’s OK to not to know everything See Tip 2

Tip 6- Don’t equate your experience with theirs All experiences are individual When someone is sharing an experience with you, remember it’s not about you For example, when they talk about losing a family member, you don’t have to interrupt to talk about how you lost a family member too

Tip 7 – Try not to repeat yourself Rephrasing same thing over and over is boring

Tip 8 – Stay out of the Weeds People don’t care about the exact dates and little details when you are struggling to remember

Tip 9 – Listening is the most important skill you can develop Stephen Covey said “Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply.” If you can’t listen, then it’s not a conversation Kind of like social media

Tip 10 – Be Brief Self explanatory

Listening is key to better conversations Our divided nation needs to figure out how to listen to each other and have more constructive conversations I’m ready to become a better a listener. I hope our entire nation and elected officials are ready too.