4.8 Developing Stronger Thesis Statements

CONNECTION Imagine you are getting ready for an important event. You find a fabulous scarf or tie to wear. Then you put on the rest of your outfit. Are you all set to head out the door? No, you have to make sure the scarf or tie actually GOES with your outfit! It might not match! Thesis statements are like this!

TEACHING POINT Today I want to teach you that essayists work to get the perfect thesis by checking their thesis to see if it matches their evidence.

TEACHING In “Shells” by Cynthia Rylant, the text teaches that people can change. Let’s reread to see if this thesis holds true…

TEACHING Then she flopped down on the couch beside Michael. “Oh, what would your mother think, Michael, if she could see this mess we’ve gotten ourselves into!” She looked at Michael with a broad smile, but it quickly disappeared. The boy’s eyes were full of pain. “Oh, my,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.” Michael turned his head away. Aunt Esther, who had not embraced anyone in years, gently put her arm about his shoulder. “I am so sorry, Michael. Oh, you must hate me.” Michael sensed a familiar smell then. His mother’s talc. He looked at his aunt. “No, Aunt Esther.” He shook his head solemnly. “I don’t hate you.”

TEACHING You can’t just say, “Yes, this part supports my point.” You have to explain HOW. Aunt Esther usually never has time for Michael. She is usually too busy talking on the phone. It might not seem like a big thing that she isn’t on the phone now but this is a change and her change makes a big difference because now she and Michael end up talking about that crab, and it becomes a big part of the story. It shows that people can change because she changes.

TEACHING Try this with your strongest thesis from yesterday. Hold it up to a passage and ask yourself, “Does this part of the text go with what I’m claiming about the text?” Then explain HOW it fits. Be sure to check more than one part of the text to make sure your thesis holds true.

LINK Writing a thesis is a cycle. You start with a thesis, then you reread, and what you reread leads you to revise. You get a new thesis and then you reread with that new thesis in mind. To write a thesis, you also have to think about your boxes and bullets. What are your supports? Kinds of Supports Literary Essayists Use Different parts of the story Ways Reasons Kinds Different characters from the story Problem and solution

MIDWORKSHOP What do you do when you find parts of the story that don’t fit your thesis? How might you tweak your thesis to fit? Take a moment to find a scene you think might not fit and adjust your thesis.

SHARE Share with your partner what your original thesis statement was at the beginning of today. Then share your new thesis statement with your supports. You’ve done a lot of hard work today! Set up the booklet format for your thesis and supports.