“Reframing Your Crucible” Bill George True North Leadership Multiversity – October 15, 2018

What Is a Crucible? “A situation of severe trial, leading to the creation of something new.” “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Crucibles of Leadership Why crucibles are important in our lives: Occur when you least expect them Real test of your character Opportunity for learning and growth Importance of self-awareness, reflection and introspection Formative for what’s next in your life Opportunity to look back and draw strength

Negative Impact of Crucibles Incapacitating Feeling like a victim Unresolved anger, grief or shame Denial and “shutting down” Pain avoidance for future issues

-Oprah Winfrey My message is always the same: You are responsible for your life, You’re not living to please other people. Although there may be tragedy in your life, There’s always a possibility to triumph. The ability to triumph begins with you. -Oprah Winfrey

The thing that allowed me to achieve material and spiritual success is the ability to listen to my instinct – my inner voice. It’s the ability to understand the difference between what your head is saying and what your heart is saying. Now I always go with my heart. -Oprah Winfrey

Connecting the Dots Two Types of Crucibles: Early Life: Developmental, as your identity is being created Mid-Career: “Hitting the wall” when you’re uncertain about your path Or: You lose your way Or: When life turns on you with surprises > Can you “connect the dots” between these crucibles? “You can’t connect the dots of your life looking forward, but you must connect them looking back.” -- Steve Jobs

What Determines Your Identity? Path of Life Identity True North Family Beliefs Nat’l Origin Country Values Race Religion Principles Gender Education Profession Your Character Your External Self Your Internal Self Tension “What You Are” “Who You Are”

What Determines Your Identity? Path of Life Identity True North Dueling Narratives Family Beliefs Positive: Ambitions/Desires Nat’l Origin Country Values Race Religion Gender Education Principles Negative: Fears Profession Your Character Your External Self Your Internal Self Tension “What You Are” “Who You Are”

“Hitting the Wall” “In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke in a dark wood Where the true way was wholly lost” - The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri

Traps that Cause us to Lose our Way  Craving: - Money - Fame - Power Can Never Have Enough Narcissistic Wounds/Hurts - Often from Childhood Pain Avoidance - Avoid repeating past pain Lack of Respect from Others Failure Lack of Relevance - Does my life matter? To whom?  

Getting Through Crucibles Belief in ourselves and our purpose Affirmation and support from others Courage: endure any hardship Taking responsibility for your life Authenticity Adaptive capacity

Finding The Pearl in My Life 3 Ways to Deal with Crucibles: Focus on the event and live your life looking backward Often an angry life, blaming others Live your life as if nothing happened Post-Traumatic Growth Use event to transform your wound into a pearl How can you reframe your crucible as a pearl by discovering your True North?

Post-Traumatic Growth “The positive psychological change resulting from finding new meaning and resolve after a traumatic event.” Shattering of fundamental beliefs, values, and understanding of self, others & the world “Life is not always fair” Struggle to find new meaning results in positive psychological growth Acceptance that personal distress & growth can co-exist - Richard Tedeshi, 2004

Post-Traumatic Growth Deeper understanding your life story Affirmation of your personal beliefs and values Greater appreciation for life in general Increased sense of your personal strength/agency Deepening of relationships with others Reduced need to please others & external forces Open to new possibilities not present before Greater resilience: coping with negative events Deepening of wisdom and spirituality

How Can Discovering our True North Keep us on Track? Reflection/Introspection Addressing issues directly: - Craving - Narcissistic wounds - Fears Truth Tellers >> Honest Feedback Staying Grounded - Family/Children - Community & Friends - Support Group - Community Service Gratitude for what we have

Moral Courage Moral courage is the courage to take action for moral reasons, despite the risk of adverse consequences. Courage is required to act when one has doubts or fears about the consequences.

Ken Frazier’s Resignation