Year 9 Relationships Stepping Up

The Teenage brain – Risk takers and Pleasure Seekers S  Brain research tells us that a teenager’s brain has not yet developed the ability to reason, practice restraint, exhibit responsibility or consider consequences. Helping them develop these skills and reflect explicitly on the development of them is important.

Relationships become more serious in Year 9

Girls Can be risk takers and are vulnerable online in many ways Vulnerable to “Likes” / wanting to be popular / puts them at risk Can be addicted to social media and its many dangers, including around physical appearance and body image. Ghost (hidden) accounts are often used to hide interactions from parents. Gossip on line can become out of control – information is power and can lead to a toxic peer culture and hurt in friendships Exposure to pornography is a extremely negative influence on an adolescent’s ability to develop respectful, safe and meaningful relationships

Girls Interventions/strategies: They need you more than ever (despite saying the opposite at times) They need lots of physical affection/ hugs etc (even if they seem to be pushing you away) They need their Dad (or a male role-model) who models respectful and loving relationships with women and discusses these They need boundaries and accountabilities around independence and social media (bedrooms should still device free spaces at night)

Boys Boys are also risk takers and are vulnerable online Do not condone behaviours with a 'boys will be boys’ attitude. They need to be held accountable for respecting others (girls and their bodies) Exposure to pornography is a extremely negative influence on an adolescent’s ability to develop respectful, safe and meaningful relationships

Boys Interventions/strategies: They need you more than ever (despite saying the opposite at times) They need to be encouraged to articulate and share their feelings and emotions. Although they may not communicate readily, it is critical that parents maintain positive lines of communication. They need many different models of what it is to be a good man They need boundaries and accountabilities around independence and social media (bedrooms should still device free spaces at night)

Boundaries around Relationships S  It is a parent’s responsibility to set boundaries around relationships. Parents should discuss what is a healthy and respectful relationship opposed to unhealthy relationships. Remember that teenagers often do not assess consequences very well. http://andres-morales.deviantart.com/art/Teenage-love-215084409

When things go wrong Recognising that young people can make mistakes and supporting them, including helping them understand what they have done wrong rather than just defending them. Helping them see different perspectives Teaching respect and forgiveness Discussing the dangers of mob mentality and accountabilities around group behaviour Taking a restorative justice approach and working in partnership with the school and outside agencies if needed.

Resources to help you support your teenager Andrew Fuller - http://andrewfuller.com.au Generation Next - http:// www.generationnext.com.au/blog/ Enlighten education - http:// www.enlighteneducation.com Menslink - http://menslink.org.au Maggie Dent – http://maggiedent.co Reachout- http://reachout.com.au The ‘Internet Addiction Test http://www.globaladdiction.org/dldocs/GLOBALADDICTION-Scales- InternetAddictionTest.pdf; Recommended reading!

Places to go for advice S Your doctor S  Headspace - http://www.headspace.org.au S  Beyond blue - http://www.beyondblue.org.au S  R U OK? - https://www.ruok.org.au S  Kids’ Helpline - http://www.kidshelp.com.au S  Catholic Care - http://www.catholiccare.cg.org.au