Grief and Suicide

Grief A natural response or expression to any loss or difficult change Experienced by all people Expressed in varying ways

Types of Losses Death of a loved one Separation or divorce Miscarriage Illness, injury, or disability Loss of job, property or pet Children leaving home (empty nest syndrome) Health Loss of safety after a traumatic event Moving Graduation Retiring

Five Stages of Loss by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross 1. Denial – deny the loss, have a feeling of numbness 2. Anger – feeling of being cheated or treated unfairly 3. Bargaining – feeling that if you had done something differently things would be different, or the “take me instead” perception

5. Acceptance – transition toward life as it has changed 4. Depression - may have little interest in life or feeling unable to complete or engage in simple tasks 5. Acceptance – transition toward life as it has changed 5 4 3 2 1

Funerals, Wakes, and Memorial Services Purpose: Help the family get through the grieving process. Funeral – ceremony in which deceased person is buried. Wake – view or watch over deceased person before funeral. Memorial Service – ceremony to remember the deceased.

What are some physical and emotional effects of stress? Coping with Loss Loss can cause stress. What are some physical and emotional effects of stress? Tension headaches, increase in blood pressure, irritable, confused, stress related illness.

Help for dealing with loss Helping yourself Get plenty of rest/relaxation but stick to any normal routine Share memories Express your feelings Don’t blame yourself Helping others Show your support through simple actions Let the person know you are there for him/her Tell the person they are strong and will learn to live with the loss Video on picture

What to Say: I'm sorry I'm sad for you How are you doing with all this? I don't know why it happened What can I do for you? I'm here and I want to listen Please tell me what you are feeling This must be hard for you What's the hardest part for you? I'll call you tomorrow (and do it!) You must really be hurting It isn't fair, is it? You must really feel angry Take all the time you need Thank you for sharing your feelings

A permanent solution to a temporary problem. SUICIDE: Words that warn: “I wish I were dead.” “I just want to go to sleep & never wake up.” “I won’t be a problem for you much longer.” “I can’t take it anymore.” “This pain will be over soon.” “Nothing matters.” Definition: the act of intentionally taking one’s life Why is suicide an uncomfortable topic? What are some myths or facts about suicide? Video clip on Myths

Facts about suicide Many people who consider suicide only do so for a brief period in their life Most people who have attempted and failed are usually grateful to be alive Suicide has many warning signs Use of drugs/alcohol can put people at risk because of impaired judgment

Facts about Suicide Cont. 3rd leading cause of death for ages 15 – 24 More women attempt suicide and more men commit suicide Males are 4 times more likely to die from suicide Video on facts about suicide on picture

More Stats Statistics on Suicide Each suicide intimately affects at least 6 other people; there is a suicide every 16.6 minutes, Approximately 11.0 youth complete suicide each day…that’s one young person every 2 hours and 11 minutes Annually, 790,000 Americans have attempted to kill themselves

WHY DO TEENS COMMIT SUICIDE? Undefeatable conflict Every problem has a solution! Gather information and seek out help to overcome this conflict.

WHY DO TEENS COMMIT SUICIDE? To punish significant people People will feel terrible, but your life will be gone. You are the one being punished.

WHY DO TEENS COMMIT SUICIDE? Intolerable living situations Remember…you are going to grow up and eventually leave your home. Time and age are on your side.

WHY ELSE DO TEENS COMMIT SUICIDE? Pressure to be responsible and to succeed Failure in relationship or divorce Failures in school or work Pregnancy or STD Trouble with the law Death or separation Medical problems Family problems Alcohol or drug abuse Financial difficulties

Warning signs for suicide Feeling hopeless Withdrawing from family and friends Neglecting basic needs Experiencing loss of energy Taking more risks Using alcohol and drugs Giving away personal things Video on bottom picture

What NOT To Do Do not sound or act shocked. Do not just try to cheer your friend up. Do not use emotional blackmail or guilt such as, “think of how upset your friends and family will be.” Do not promise to keep the plan a secret.

Remember CLUES Five Action Steps to Help a Troubled Person Connect. -Make contact. Reach out, talk to them. Notice their pain. Listen. -Take the time and really pay attention. You don't have to have all the answers. Just listen. Understand. -Nod, pay attention, let them know you appreciate what they are going through. Express Concern. -Say that you care, worried, and want to help. Seek Help. -Tell them you want to go with them to talk to a third person, preferably an adult with experience and the ability to help. Enlarge the circle of support.

Giving and Getting Help Take all talk of suicide seriously Tell your friend suicide is not the answer Change negative thoughts into positive ones Don’t keep a secret Video on picture

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS - WHAT TO DO Dial: 911 Dial: Macomb County Crisis Center - (24 hours) 586-307-9100 Dial: 1-800-273-TALK Check yourself into the emergency room. Tell someone who can help you find help immediately. Stay away from things that might hurt you. Most people can be treated with a combination of antidepressant medication and psychotherapy.