The Social Self: Fostering Self-Discipline and Conflict Resolution Skills Chapter 11

View problems as learning opportunities – just like they are learning to read and write and create a harmonious classroom where children are cooperative and behave in a respectful, caring way toward others.

Helping children establish inner controls: control impulses, moral judgment (right and wrong), social awareness

Suggestions for Creating a Peaceable and Caring Classroom Establish a caring classroom: the teacher should make clear that the classroom is a safe place for all children; with children; class meetings; generate classroom rules by the children. Teach conflict resolution “guidance talk” skills: negotiate and resolve their problems. The teachers’ role is to help the children articulate their feelings, listen to others and collaborate in finding possible solutions

Time-out is not conflict resolution, instead give the child “time in” to: Recognize and discuss feelings and rules after the child calms down Have children take the responsibility of deciding when they can control themselves and return (sand box) It is important to help children be successful when they do go back so that they have the experience of use acceptable behavior Follow through with suspending privileges if children repeat unacceptable behavior - have child sit next to you and think of other activity to do, but do not allow to go back in the sand box

Use guidance talk: classroom rules Involve the families in creating a peaceable classroom Increase children’s feelings of mastery by giving them many opportunities for making decisions: Ex. “It’s time to clean up. Do you want to clean up in the block area or dramatic play area?”

Increase the child’s feelings of being a competent, worthwhile person: acknowledge children’s positive behaviors Foster a more social, less egocentric orientation: Explain reasons to children: “I can’t let you hit Max with the blocks; it hurts him too much” Stop conflict situations before they start

Position yourself to oversee the play area Warn ahead of time to make transition easier Arrange the environment to promote positive interactions When supervising children, plan ahead Intervene before the trouble brews

Physical restraint may be necessary Keep your own emotion under control Practice compensation: let the child remedy the injury (apply an ice pack, band aid) Don’t hold a grudge

Reducing Aggression in the Classroom Two kinds of aggression: Instrumental aggression: no hostile intent (ex. A toddler pushes another toddler to reach a book) Hostile aggression: actions that are intended to cause pain (hitting, kicking, destroying property, etc.) Teachers and parents deal with this acting-out behavior in both useful and not-so-useful ways.

Undesirable Ways to Cope With Aggression The Authoritarian Teacher – controlling teachers, who use punitive approaches to control behavior. The result if such intensive control is generally an increase in aggression, and the children begin dislike school The Overpermissive Teacher –struggling to set clear expectations. Teachers embracing this style often don’t know how to regain control of their classrooms when preschoolers begin acting out, leading to a chaotic, ineffective teaching environment. Preschoolers taught under this model are more likely to exhibit patterns of low-impulse control and low achievement. The Inconsistent Teacher – not enforcing rules consistently and unsure how to control aggression

Desirable Ways to Cope With Aggression Assess the underlying causes of aggression, and improve them when possible - Work together with families Never allow bullying – use conflict resolution , direct intervention, ongoing guidance talk and classroom meetings to discuss the issue effectively Teach children alternative ways of getting what they want – ex. “here is another truck. Why don’t you use it. It has a bell you can ring” Provide substitute opportunities for socially acceptable expressions of aggression – ex. Yoga, physical activities, call for help

Offer opportunities before it is too late – during the holidays, supply plenty of materials and time to work on Offer different types of outlets – plenty of sensory activities (playdough, clay, painting, woodworking) Stopping some activities before they start, saves aggression later – keep and eye out for vigorous activities (superheroes). The quickest way to bring it under control is bring out another interesting activity to get children's attention Finally, plan, plan, plan!