For: Alberta ISW Facilitators Conference By: Marjorie Contenti University of Calgary, June 12, 2009

Objectives Participants will be able to: define Emotional Intelligence (EI) identify characteristics of Emotional Intelligence Identify strategies to use to increase personal emotional intelligence

Defining Emotional Intelligence (EI) EI is a true form of intelligence…the ability to process emotional information, particularly as it involves perception, assimilation, understanding, and management of emotion. (Mayer & Cobb 2003 in Mayer, Salovey and Caruso) Daniel Goleman published Emotional Intelligence in 1999

How EI Impacts Effectiveness Social intelligence is emotional intelligence in action in the classroom, in workshops, and in work and personal relationships How might knowledge and competence in EI be useful in facilitating ISWs? Daniel Goleman on Social Intelligence

The Four Branches Of Emotional Intelligence Emotional self-awareness Emotional self-management Social Awareness/Empathy Relationship management

Emotional Self-Awareness Ability to know your feelings in the moment: identify emotion in ones physical states, feelings, thoughts identify emotion in other people, designs, artwork through language, sound, appearance, behavior express emotions accurately; to express needs discriminate between honest and dishonest

Emotional Self-Management Ability to manage strong feelings: Use feelings in analysis, reasoning, problem solving, decision making The potential of your feelings to guide you to what is most important to think about

Social Awareness/Empathy Ability to empathize accurately with other peoples emotions: Label and recognize relations between words and emotions (liking /loving) Interpret the meanings that emotions convey about relationships (sadness comes from loss) Understand complex feeling blends (love-hate, fear-surprise) Understand emotional transitions (anger to satisfaction)

Relationship Management Ability to handle emotions in relationships with skill and harmony: Stay open to both good and bad feelings Engage or detach from an emotion depending on the circumstances Reflectively monitor (notice) emotions in others Manage emotion in yourself

High EI or Emotional Mastery Recognize emotions as they occur Manage distressing emotions in a positive way Control impulses & motivate self, use self control & willpower, delay gratification Recognize others emotions (empathy) Show interdependence Handle feelings that come in relationships, cooperate, avoid self-righteous judgments How emotionally intelligent are you?

Improving EI: Identify the top 3 emotional responses Anger Sadness Fear Individually, think about the following: Which emotion is most likely to hook you when someone else is expressing it? Which emotion are you most likely to feel when you are experiencing stress? In small groups, discuss effective ways to respond.

Anger Healthy anger declares a threat or injustice against us or someone we care about Signals: flushed skin, tensed muscles, increased pulse Strategies: Separate- go off alone Exercise – move vigorously – reduces anger - fueling hormones in your body Relax – Slowing down returns control Change thoughts – reframe- rise above Identify the hurt Forgive

Fear Healthy fear delivers a message that we are in danger Signals: brain releases hormones – fight/flight - victims exaggerate dangers = paralyzing anxiety Strategies: Face the fear – False Expectation Appearing Real Breathe deeply – fear constricts – Keep oxygen flowing Detach – affirm you are prepared Visualize success

Sadness Healthy sadness overtakes us upon the loss of someone or something dear. Grieving is essential. Signals: Low energy, constant fatigue, lack of positive will/attitude to perform meaningful tasks, oncoming or lingering depression Strategies: Exercise – move vigorously to create a natural chemical high Laugh Breathe deeply Do something (anything) towards your goals Help others Socialize with friends Identify your blessings- gratitude list

Ways to improve EI 1. Do you care? Are you motivated to change? 2. Get some feedback. (How emotionally intelligent do others say you are?) 3. Identify strengths and weaknesses in EI 4. Make a learning agreement with yourself to practice new behaviours at every opportunity 5. Practice for a few months If you want to improve EI, what will you do?

Post-Test and Summary Did you…. define Emotional Intelligence (EI) identify characteristics of Emotional Intelligence identify strategies to use to increase personal Emotional Intelligence have other insights?

Summary Intellect works in concert with feeling, so if I hope to open my students minds, I must open their emotions as well. – Parker Palmer