Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood 105

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood 106 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

To communicate effectively with me, you must first understand me. Habit 5—Principle Paradigm To communicate effectively with me, you must first understand me. Result Behavior 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply. Habit 5—Paradigms Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply. Effective: I listen with the intent to understand. 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

xQ Tells You… “We genuinely listen to each other, honestly seeking to understand the viewpoints of others.” 48% 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Diagnose Before You Prescribe Video Diagnose Before You Prescribe 5 107 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Advising: Giving counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. Autobiographical Responses Advising: Giving counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of reference or agenda. Interpreting: Explaining another’s motives and behavior based on our own experience; trying to figure people out. Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing. 5 109 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Autobiographical Responses Video Autobiographical Responses 5 109 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Empathic Listening Video 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Empathic Listening Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out. 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Ears Eyes Heart “To Listen With a Virtuous Heart” 5 110 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Reading the Signs 5 111 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Stop and listen empathically. Watch the Signals Stop and listen empathically. Slow down. Watch and be ready to listen empathically. Go forward and seek to be understood. 5 111 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

“You feel ________________________ about _________________________.” How to Listen Empathically Try it! “You feel ________________________ about _________________________.” 5 112 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Seek to Be Understood From the Other’s Perspective I’m excited to move into the Latin American marketplace. I honestly don’t think you could find a better supplier than Indiva. Our quality manufacturing standards are second to none, with only a .2 percent defect rate. Our considerable investment in customer service means that we are leaders in product satisfaction. Please let me know your decision. I look forward to hearing from you by June 10. 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Please contact us with any issues you may have. Suggested Revision You’ll benefit from the high quality of Indiva products. Your customers will experience second-to-none quality with defect rates of only .2 percent and industry-leading customer satisfaction and service. Please contact us with any issues you may have. You’ll hear from us by June 10. 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Nobody’s Listening Video 5 115 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Teach to Learn 5 116–117 Habit Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood