Giving and Receiving Compliments

Giving Compliments A good compliment is a positive description OF another person TO that person that is… Specific True Appropriate Respectful You can make a STAR compliment by following the STAR rules! Give examples and non-examples too demonstrate each point above.

Good Compliments Can… Raise a person’s self-esteem Strengthen the friendship/bond between two people Make someone’s day brighter Show this video about receiving compliments and the power of compliments. It’s very love-heavy at first, but can apply to any relationship, including family and friendships.

Steps to Receiving Compliments 1. Smile and have positive body language (no crossed arms) 2. Using a positive voice tone, respond with a “Thank you” phrase. 3. Begin a new conversation topic (use transitions!) or use a conversation ending (“I have to go to class—I’ll see you later!”)

When Receiving Compliments, DON’T… 1. Don’t deflect or reject the compliment 2. Don’t fish for more compliments 3. Don’t return a compliment instantly More information… 1. Don’t deflect or reject the compliment- Don’t deny the compliment by saying something like “oh, that’s not true” or “You like my hair? Oh, but it’s a mess today!” This will make the person giving the compliment feel like it was rejected and they might feel sad. They won’t want to compliment you again. 2. Don’t fish for more compliments- This means asking for additional compliments or reassurance. “Really? You really like my hair? I wasn’t sure about the new color.” This is hard, especially if you are insecure about the area that you are being complimented on or if a compliment surprises you. 3. Don’t return a compliment instantly- If someone compliments you, just say a “Thank you” phrase. Do not compliment them back on something right away. It might feel natural, but it will sound fake. Remember, though, to get in the habit of often giving compliments. Maybe you can compliment that person tomorrow!

Practice Receiving Compliments Use one of your “thank you” phrases to respond to a compliment from your teacher! Go to http://peoplearenice.blogspot.com/p/compliment-list.html and pull up the list of compliments. Pick students for practice. They will each be given 1-3 “Thank You” phrase note cards that were prepared ahead of time. The teacher will pick a compliment to give the student (from the website or a genuine compliment) and the student will pick an appropriate “Thank You” phrase to use in response.

The Compliment Game Sit in a circle The first person will give a compliment to the person on their left. The only response allowed is a thank you phrase. Then, the person on the left gives a compliment to their person on their left. Continue until you run out of compliment ideas, use a nonsense compliment, laugh, or repeat a compliment. Challenge- Make sure it’s a STAR compliment- Specific, True, Appropriate, and Respectful The Compliment Game: This is like The Question Game, but with compliments. Students sit in a circle. They each give the person to their left a compliment, and then the person to THEIR left gives a compliment. They may only respond to the compliment with a “Thank You Phrase.” The compliments should go around the circle as fast as the students can say them (in order). Each compliment must be appropriate (but not necessarily applicable to the person) and unique. No nonsense compliments are allowed (you are a great jellyfish!). If students cannot think of a compliment in 3 seconds, use a nonsense compliment, repeat a compliment, or laugh instead of complimenting on their turn, they are out. The winner is the last one in the circle.