by Jim Barshop, DTM June 6th, 2015

of difficult people in your life… How do you usually deal with them? Describe some types of difficult people in your life… How do you usually deal with them?

Types of Difficult People… Dominator Micro Manager Incapable “Take an assignment and not perform it kind of guy or gal” Don’t have the time Angry Unprepared Accommodator Jokester Non-joiner No Shower Off Topic buddy! Judge and Jury Loquacious (talks too much!) Ineffective Leader Hem ’n Hawer Suppressor Hurt Feelings

A Needs-based Theory of Negotiations “The Collaborator” true win-win “The Competitor” win-lose Degrees of Self Care “The Compromiser” win-win (sort of) “The Loner” lose-lose “The Accommodator” lose-win Degrees of Caring for Others (Ting-Toomey, 1988)

Collaboration Defined… “…a principle-based process of working together that produces trust, integrity and break-through results by building true consensus, ownership and alignment in all aspects of the organization” (Marshall, 1995)

D I C S DISC Model “Types” Fast S P E D Task Oriented Driver Dominance Directed Doer Determined Developer Influencer Inviting Irrepressible Imaginative Interesting Inspiring Fast S P E D Task Oriented Relations Oriented Concise Conscientious Cautious Careful Controlling Candid Competent Steady Sincere Stable Status Quo Sentimental Sweet Slow Slow C S

Driver Influencer Concise Steady Dealing with the “Types” Driver Get to the point Challenge them Be blunt Give goals Give them opportunities to win Acknowledge them Encourage empathy to and involvement from others Influencer Recognize them Include them Promote group work Focus on the relationship Help them stay organized Guide them to follow through Give them jobs connected to people Fast S P E D Task Oriented Relations Oriented Use their expertise Give them time to learn Let them manage the tasks Let them focus on quality Encourage empathy Give them the details to wade through Focus on the positive Give them jobs connected to precise tasks Involve them on the team Stay humble Affirm them Give opportunities to help Be sincere and cooperative Be patient and stay calm Be a good listener Give them jobs connected to people Concise Steady Slow

Skills Ethics Learning Your“SALE”Box Skills Ethics Attitude Learning

What does Your “SALE” Box Look Like? Assess THEIR “SALE” Box L

Begin with the End in Mind. Put First Things First. Think Win-Win. Be Proactive. Begin with the End in Mind. Put First Things First. Think Win-Win. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Synergize. Sharpen the Saw. (Covey, 1989)

Dealing with Difficult People ROLE PLAY! You are a Toastmasters club President and another officer or member…

Collaborative Communications ROLE PLAY! You are a spouse and your partner…

Collaborative Communications ROLE PLAY! Your 15 year old daughter arrives home two hours past her (reasonable) curfew

Please give your honest, Evaluation Time! Please give your honest, helpful feedback! Thank you for Participating!!! Thank you for Participating!!! Thank you for Participating!!! Thank you for Participating!!! Thank you for Participating!!! Thank you for Participating!!!