“We need to talk…” about having those difficult conversations Cassie Delaney Cathcart-Pola Chelsea Titus

Who we are Cassie Delaney Cathcart-Pola @cathcart_cassie Cdc222@txstate.edu Chelsea Titus @chelseatitus Chelseatitus@txstate.edu

What is a difficult conversation? A conversation which has the potential to elicit strong emotions, these can include: Controversial topics Hardships Constructive criticism Insensitivity towards others Policy violations Intentional conversations (beyond surface-level conversation) What is a difficult conversation?

...sound familiar? Even when we know the importance of these conversations, we still avoid them.  Think back to your last difficult conversation…did any of these thoughts run through your mind? I'll address it if I see it again...  I'll see if someone else can talk to them If this conversation doesn’t go well, the results could have a negative impact on me The other person will probably be emotional, and I try to avoid emotions

What does TXST do? Roommate agreements 1:1 coaching discussion w/RD and RA  Intentional resident conversations RA Training in Summer and Winter Facilitated discussions on "hot" topics lead by campus partners  Lead large and small-scale events Roommate agreements help guide RAs though difficult conversations and identify common triggers to roommate conflicts What does TXST do?

Let's discuss... the Crucial Conversations Model The Crucial Conversations Model discussed in 2 minutes "A crucial conversation is a discussion between two or more people where the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong." Model created by: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Swizler​ ​

Start with the Heart  Stay in Dialogue Make it Safe Don't get Hooked by Emotion Agree on a Mutual Purpose Separate Facts from Story Agree on a Clear Action Plan Seven Essential Steps

What does using the Crucial Conversation Model teach? Speak persuasively, not abrasively 1 Foster teamwork and better decision making 2 Build acceptance rather than resistance 3 Resolve individual and group disagreements 4

How do we prepare RAs for these Conversations? Traditional: Role playing  Case study Lecturing 1:1 Pro staff guidance and training

Food for Thought Look at your institution... How do you currently teach student staff members about difficult conversations? What are the strengths and areas for improvement with your current methods? What are the trends around conflict and difficult conversations that already exist? Think about national trends... Who are our incoming residents? What skill sets do they already possess when it comes to difficult conversations? What skill sets still need to be developed? How can our Para-Professional staff members contribute to their own learning and their residents learning around difficult conversations?  Why does the ability to hold difficult conversations matter? Who are your campus partners and how can they assist you in teaching this? Food for Thought

1 2 Think/Pair/Share Get into a pair or group In your groups come up with an activity or training method that you could use to train your student/para-professional staff members on holding difficult/crucial conversations  2

References   Arnold, P. (2013). Summary of Crucial conversations – Tools for talking when the stakes are high. Retrieved from https://slooowdown.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/summ ary-of-crucial-conversations-tools-for-talking-when-the- stakes-are-high-by-kerry-patterson-joseph-grenny-ron- mcmillan-and-al-swizler/ Patterson, K. (Eds.) (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high, New York : McGraw- Hill. VitalSmarts. (2017). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. Retrieved from  file:///C:/Users/cet65/Downloads/Crucial- Conversations-Overview%20(1).pdf

THANK YOU Cassie Delaney Cathcart-Pola Chelsea Titus @cathcart_cassie Cdc222@txstate.edu Chelsea Titus @chelseatitus Chelseatitus@txstate.edu THANK YOU

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