Relationship Issues and Trends

Discussion: Discuss with a partner- What are some of the issues/reasons that could cause a marriage to fall apart?

Typical issues that often spark conflict in marriages are… Money Biggest source of marital conflict, important to discuss values and feelings about money so each partner can try to understand the other, working out a budget and planning finances requires partners to compromise and negotiate. In-Laws Most problematic in early years of a marriage. Couples can deal with in-laws by sharing their feelings and discuss what kind of relationships they want to have with their in-laws. Sex Emotional issue many spouses are afraid of getting hurt or rejected by their partners so they avoid discussing their feelings about sexual issues, communication is key. Child-Rearing Is a time consuming task that requires huge amounts of energy. Conflicts with regards to how to parent and raise kids. Affairs Having any relationship other than your spouse

Relationship Issues: Men and women undertake marriage with the hope of having a meaningful and enduring relationship. Whether couples have the enduring happiness they aspire to when they marry depends on their abilities to negotiate and maintain the relationship within the circumstances that surround them. Relationships that are outside the accepted norms of family or society appear to be less stable on the whole. Marriage is between individuals from different social or cultural backgrounds are more likely to end in divorce. WHY?

Intermarriage: Intermarriage or heterogamy means marriage between partners who are from different social, racial, religious, ethnic or cultural backgrounds. Intermarriage brings together two individuals who share a similar contemporary culture but discover that they have different roots when they begin to negotiate the roles, rules and rituals in their marriage. Intermarriage, whether the difference is racial, religious or ethnic appears to be more common particularly in Canada’s urban communities

Interracial/Interfaith Couples: Couples in interfaith marriages in Canada face a different set of problems because faith unlike race is a chosen attribute as it is possible to convert to another faith. Partners in interfaith relationships may appear to be similar in economic and educational backgrounds but their family and social experiences might have been quite different. Unlike interracial couples who face the challenges of racism in society together, couples of different faiths face difficulties within their families and relationships. What do couples from interfaith relationships have to decide? Real challenge of interracial marriage is raising a biracial child because it requires that both partners reflect on their individual identities. Challenge in interfaith relationships is what faith will you bring your child up in?

Heterogamy Cont… Marriages between individuals of different ethnic backgrounds is the most complex form of heterogamy. Ethnicity can be a mixture of national and racial heritage religion and culture. Self-identification as a member of an ethnic group suggests that an individual adheres to the specific values system, family structure and role expectations that are associated with that ethnic group. Major variations among ethnic groups involve gender roles within marriage and the workplace However, now that most women are working outside the home, the children are staying in school longer, afterschool programs support families, thus decreasing difference among ethnic groups.

Infidelity: Sexual infidelity remains an important value in intimate relationships in Canada. According to Helen Fisher and David Buss, early man was motivated to have many sexual partners to enhance his chance of having offspring, whereas woman tended to be very selective about her sexual partners to improve the chance of having the man stay to support their offspring. There is no evidence that the sexual activity of humans is still motivated by these biological drive. Limiting sexual partners benefits society because it strengthens the conjugal family ensuring the greatest population growth and the support and socialization of offspring. Adultery does not work to benefit society so people are taught that it is wrong.

Infidelity Cont… Contrary to the excuses that evolutionary psychology might suggest, extramarital affairs do not appear to be about sex. Psychologists and marriage councilors have found that individuals have affairs when their needs are not met in their marriages. Even the best marriages experience conflict from time to time, the key to success in marriage is how coupes handle their conflicts and differences.

Spousal Abuse There are many different forms of spousal abuse and a person may be subjected to more than one form Physical Abuse just one or may consist of repeated incident. (beating, hitting, shaking, pushing, choking, biting, burning, kicking, weapon, rough handling.) Sexual Abuse all forms of sexual assault, sexual harassment or sexual exploitation. Emotional Abuse verbal attacks (yelling, screaming, name calling, using criticism, verbal threats) Economic or financial abuse stealing from a partner or withholding money. Spiritual abuse using a persons religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate them.

Textbook reading and questions Read pages 242-248(OLD) 258-266(NEW) in your textbook and answer the following questions on the sheet provided. Please complete the worksheet on the cycle of violence on page 245(OLD) 261(NEW). Due at the end of class