DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Have I contributed to this problem? In what way?

Have I extended the duration of the problem in some way Have I extended the duration of the problem in some way? Have I talked to others about it without talking to the person

Have I treated this person differently than I would treat others? Less respect Less patience Less sympathy Less empathy

Have I held on to the anger and built resentment Have I held on to the anger and built resentment? Have I decided not to forgive them? Did I needlessly take a remark personally?

How will I notice improvement in the relationship?

When I feel better? When the behavior changes? When I’ve shared my concern or discomfort with this person?

Powerlessness I What about this person encourages me to allow them so much power over the way that I feel? He/she is my boss She/he reminds me of a parent or other authority figure in my past

Powerlessness II He/she is my spouse/partner/child She/he reminds me that I don’t like or respect myself As a result of the previous reason, I don’t really expect them to treat me with respect.

YOURSELF What are you doing for yourself? Exercising Learning to relax Learning to forgive Spending time with friends and/or family Choosing to change my perspective

CHANGE PERSPECTIVE Figure out what I can learn from this person Professionally Personally Attitudinally Spiritually Meaning and purpose

MAKING THE CHOICE To meet challenges without resentment To accept that some people create the opportunity to grow in ways I find uncomfortable Focus on those things I enjoy and let go of negative feelings about thing that will not or cannot be changed

IT’S UP TO YOU