November 15, 2016 Entry Task: Why do people date? Target: Dating purposes & types of love

Ground Rules? What should they be? Remind yourself of them from time to time…

AGENDA… The Paper Bag Princess The Purposes of Dating Appointment with love Types of Love Ladder of Love Love or Infatuation?

The Purposes of Dating

Socialization: To develop appropriate social skills To practice getting along with others in different settings

Recreation: To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others To try new and different activities

Mate Selection: To see others in many different settings To compare the personality and characteristics of many people To determine if you could live…for the rest of your life with this person

An Appointment With Love

Make a list Of everything you love <3 Now put a star next to the things that you loved if they were actual people that you love. We will come back to this list in a minute…

Types of Love Romantic Love Sexual Love Pragmatic Love Platonic Love Puppy Love Sexual Love The intimate expression of love. Pragmatic Love A rational, reasoning kind of love. Platonic Love The spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman. Companionship Love A love typically found in good friendships. Altruistic Love Selfless love or concern for the spouse. Manic Love A crazy, possessive, jealous kind of love. Self-Love An egotistic, narcissistic kind of love. In an ideal marital relationship, you would experience all types of love, everyday. However, until you are married, you can still experience most types of love with a variety of people.

The Ladder of Love

Ladder of Love Mature love for others Love for children Love for the opposite sex Love for someone the same sex, older Love for same sex friend First love outside the family Love of other relatives Love for secondary caregiver Love for primary caregiver Self-love Love for humankind, very unselfish love. Unselfish love with ability to love without expecting anything in return. Begins with interest in the other sex and continues throughout life. Role model and exemplified what you wanted to become. Close friend of the same age and sex. You had fun with this person and loved him for the times shared. Love of a relative which brought a special sense of security. This person met your needs and cared for you. Usually your father. Your primary caregiver (usually mother). Until you love yourself, you cannot truly love another.

Love vs. Infatuation Grows slowly Long lasting Trust More realistic More thoughtful Happens quickly Short-lived Physical thrills Jealousy Rush to marry

LOVE INFATUATION Love grows over time Known under many circumstances Learn all characteristics of the person Other person centered Happens suddenly Under one circumstance Know only a few character traits Self centered

LOVE INFATUATION Only for one person Face problems and try to solve them Physical attraction is a small part Endures Can wait for marriage More than one person Problems are glossed over May be based only on physical attraction Doesn’t want to wait for anything May end suddenly Seen as deprivation

Love vs. Infatuation Each group will divide the statements about love into two piles. Infatuation Love Divide into groups of 4-5.

Date Mate Assignment As a high school student there are several things that attract you to your ideal date (boyfriend/girlfriend). So you will create your ideal date as you see him or her. Identify 20 characteristics (physical, emotional, cognitive, social) that you look for in a girl/boy. List these in order of priority For the top 7 priorities, create a statement as to why these are important to you. Extra (but not required) Create a model using pictures from magazines, etc. of your perfect DATE MATE!