Fundamentals of writing May 8, 2015

Today Improving writing clarity: - Pronoun reference errors

Pronouns I, he, she, they, us, them, which…

Terms to keep in mind Pronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or noun phrases. i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them… Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers. i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.

Pronouns However, … I, he, she, they, us, them, which… - Often, a pronoun’s antecedent is clear. i.e., James and Jane love golfing. They often go to the golf course together. John Adams was a great, but misunderstood man. He was greatly influential in early American politics. However, …

Read these sentences To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce. Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it. Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats. After jack put his computer on the table, it broke. At a local restaurant, they provide each table with a bowl of peanuts.

Read these sentences To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce. Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it. Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats. After jack put his computer on the table, it broke. At a local restaurant, they provide each table with a bowl of peanuts.

Terms to keep in mind Pronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or noun phrases. i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them… Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers. i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.

Pronoun reference errors When the antecedent in a sentence or paragraph is unclear, the meaning of the sentence or paragraph can be confusing. This problem negatively affects writing clarity & coherence.  remember, avoid confusing your reader!

Pronoun reference errors Common unclear pronoun references: 1. More than one possible antecedent i.e., To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce. Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Pronoun reference errors 1. More than one possible antecedent To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce. - The children or the thumbs? Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job. - Who wasn’t going to get the job? Jack or Frank?

Pronoun reference errors 1. More than one possible antecedent When the hotel staff mistakenly booked two wedding parties at the same time, neither of the bride's families would agree to be relocated. The situation was embarrassing for them. - Embarrassing for whom? The hotel staff, the families, or the brides?

Fixing pronoun reference errors There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors: 1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun. Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.  Jack told Frank that Frank wasn’t going to get the job.

Fixing pronoun reference errors There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors: 2. Completely revise the sentence. Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.  Jack told Frank, “You aren’t going to get the job.”

Fixing pronoun reference errors There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors: 1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun. To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.  To prevent their children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put their child’s thumb in Tabasco sauce.

Fixing pronoun reference errors There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors: 2. Completely revise the sentence. To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.  Some parents put their child’s thumb in Tabasco sauce to prevent thumb sucking.

Pronoun reference errors Common unclear pronoun references: 2. The antecedent is only implied i.e., One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This was a disaster for the team. The use of “this” is what caused the problem. Do not use “this” without a clarifying noun afterwards. i.e., “This mistake was a disaster for the team.” “This change of direction was a disaster for the team.”

Pronoun reference errors Common unclear pronoun references: 2. The antecedent is only implied i.e., One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This was a disaster for the team. One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula into metric, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This mistake was a disaster for the team.

Pronoun reference errors Other tips: - Be careful with “it”. “It says on the news that a storm is coming.”  “The news says that a storm is coming.”

Pronoun reference errors Other tips: - Make sure there is one clear antecedent for “which”, “this, and “that” “While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.” What upset Julia?

Pronoun reference errors Other tips: “While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.” While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Scratch marks on the table really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errors Other tips: “While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.” While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Endangering the kittens really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errors Other tips: “While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.” While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Breaking the rice cooker really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errors I majored in banking, but I don’t want to work in one.  I majored in banking, but I won’t want to work in a bank. My brother never asks for directions, which really annoys me.  My brother never asks for directions, a habit which really annoys me. In Tokyo they eat a lot of fish.  People in Tokyo eat a lot of fish. It says in the paper that the city council will approve the budget.  The paper says that the city council will approve the budget.

1. When Frank accidentally walked into the ladies' bathroom, they burst out laughing. 3. When I opened the doors of the pigeon cages, most of them flew away. 7. With my experience caring for my autistic brother, it has prepared me for a job in Special Education.

4. It says in our English textbook that pronouns should refer clearly to their antecedents. 5. At the company where I work, they don't allow smoking even outside the building. 6. If the test is postponed until Monday, it will give more time to study.