Eliminating Nominalization Exercises *how to avoid wordiness* Excerpts from: Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 7th ed. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.

Rewrite this paragraph... Everything today has the requirement of the conformity of people to some standard. There is the requirement to be similar in their speech and in their beliefs. If you have different ideas, people have the thought you are odd. Our fear stops the expression of our thoughts about our surroundings. We must have a resemblance to our neighbours or friends. Because there is so little we can do to be individuals, it is my thought that we would commit an error by the imposition of a dress standard on students. It would be a loss to their expression of individuality. Source: http://www.sfu.ca/~whitmore/style/conciseness_01.htm

More words Are not better Noun-based Style Everything today has the requirement of the conformity of people to some standard. There is the requirement to be similar in their speech and in their beliefs. If you have different ideas, people have the thought you are odd. Our fear stops the expression of our thoughts about our surroundings. We must have a resemblance to our neighbours or friends. Because there is so little we can do to be individuals, it is my thought that we would commit an error by the imposition of a dress standard on students. It would be a loss to their expression of individuality. (100 words) Verb-based Style Everything today requires people to conform to some standard. Similarity isrequired in how they speak and what they believe. If your ideas differ, people think you are odd. We fearexpressing what we think about our surroundings. We must resemble our neighbours or friends. Because there is so little we can do to be individuals, I think we would err by imposing a dress standard on students. They would lose a way to express individuality. (75 words)

Improve the following sentences Negligence on the part of hospital workers was the reason for the failure of the kidney machine. (17 w) We need to have a discussion about the problem. (9 w) His conclusion is in agreement with mine. (7 w) 1. Negligent hospital workers broke the kidney machine. (7 w) 2. We need to discuss the problem. (6 w) 3.His conclusion agrees with mine. (5 w)

continued.. 4. Due to the fact that we made the lowest bid, we won the contract. 5. I am aware of the fact that he scheduled a meeting. 6. Our acceptance of this policy is a necessity 7. Basically it appears that I seem to have misplaced the contract. 8. Lincoln’s hope was for the peaceful preservation of the Union, but the South’s attack on Fort Sumter made war an inevitability. 9. Once upon a time, as a walk through the woods was taking place on the part of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s jump out from behind a tree occurred, causing her fright. Excerpts from: Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 7th ed. New York: Longman, 2003. Print. 4. Because we made the lowest bid, we won the contract. 5. I know he scheduled a meeting. 6. We must accept this policy. 7. I misplaced the contract. 8. Lincoln hoped to preserve the Union without war, but when the South attacked Fort Sumter, war became inevitable. 9. Once upon a time, as Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods, the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and frightened her.