“The Shipping News” Body Paragraph Review

The prompt: Write an essay in which you analyze how the author uses diction, details, and figurative language to create a complex character.

The task: Find the “unknowns” and answer the questions Write an essay in which you analyze how the author uses diction, details, and figurative language to create a complex character.

Answer the questions: Diction: Figurative language Details Negative Mind like “artic lung” Isolating Allusion to “changeling” Insulting Imagery about his appearance Ridiculing Details His family His weight His career/schooling

Answer the questions: Character: Insecure Lonely Self-conscious Isolated Depressed

Write a TS that answers the prompt; fill in with work from before Write a TS that answers the prompt; fill in with work from before. - The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character. Diction: Figurative language Character: Negative Insecure Mind like “artic lung” Isolating Lonely Insulting Self-conscious Allusion to “changeling” Ridiculing Isolated Details Depressed Imagery about his appearance His family His weight His career/schooling

TS Check Do you answer all parts of the question? Is your language clear? Ex: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character.

Then, add your quotes (Concrete Detail) Depending on the TS, these may be different as needed. For TS, let’s write: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character. Quotes: “a head taller than any child around” “Quoyle curled, hands over head” “a failure of normal appearance” “great damp loaf of a body” Then, pick the best quote to match your TS

Or, you may want to select the quote first BEFORE you write the TS Let’s say you want to include the simile about Quoyle’s mind like an “artic lung” to note his confusion and isolation Go back to the brainstorming from earlier and make the TS perfectly suit the evidence that you will use. This is often the BEST way to ensure that your TS and CD match. - The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character.

- The author uses/includes __________ in order to portray Quoyle as a __________ character. Diction: Allusion to “changeling” Negative Imagery about his appearance Isolating Insulting Character: Ridiculing Insecure Details Lonely His family Self-conscious His weight Isolated His career/schooling Depressed Figurative language Mind like “artic lung”

CD – How to embed Do not use a full-sentence quotation. Your own commentary or ideas should support and elaborate the quotation. Not embedded: Richard Cory had everything going for him. “He was a gentleman from sole to crown.” “And he was rich—yes, richer than a king.” Embedded: Richard Cory had everything going for him. Not only was he a “gentleman from sole to crown,” but he was “richer than a king.”

CD Check Does your CD prove your TS? Are the quotes embedded into the sentence? Do you cite the quote? Do you explain the context of the quote? The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1).

Commentary (CM) For the commentary, go back to your TS. “The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self- conscious character.” We need to EXPLAIN how the “damp loaf” of Quoyle’s body means that he is self-conscious. I can also explain the connection to his brother and father that I brought up in the context for my CD.

CM Check Do you definitively PROVE your TS? Are all the sentences on topic stated in your TS? Are any of the sentences repetitive? EX: The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1). Quoyle’s body is described as large, doughy, and shapeless. Even though he is tall, he is unattractive, so his height makes his ugliness stand out all the more. The fact that he is described as “damp” implies that he is sweaty and uncomfortable as well.

Concluding Sentence After you have written your CM, and you are sure that it proves your point, read your paragraph again, and see if there is anything else that you could say You might consider: Connecting to a universal theme: All people who are ridiculed feel self-conscious People who we should be able to trust are often the most cruel Comment on something you discussed already: How cruel his family is  this might be what led to his overeating Make some kind of insight: Quoyle will likely be a tragic character

CS Check Do you say something new? Do you wrap up the ideas in the paragraph? Are you thinking beyond the lines? The author includes visual imagery of Quolye’s appearance in order to portray Quoyle as a self-conscious character. Quoyle is described as having a “great damp loaf of a body,” for which he is ridiculed by his father and brother (Proux 1). Quoyle’s body is described as large, doughy, and shapeless. Even though he is tall, he is unattractive, so his height makes his ugliness stand out all the more. The fact that he is described as “damp” implies that he is sweaty and uncomfortable as well. His discomfort and his family’s cruelty show how people who we should be able to trust are often the most cruel.

Review your paragraphs now: What do you notice needs some work? Then, rewrite your paragraph on a separate page.