Communicating your meaning Relationships Communicating your meaning

Forms of communication Verbal- written or spoken Nonverbal- body language, appearance, and personal space

Imagine life with no verbal communication Broken Square Game Find groups of 5

Effective verbal communication Speak for yourself, not others Be clear and direct Be aware of audience Ask questions for clarity

I – MESSAGES allow you to: Confront people in a positive way. Be open, honest, and straightforward about a person’s unacceptable behavior. Avoid putting people on the defensive. Appeal for help in solving the problem. Communicate ownership of the problem.

YOU – MESSAGES YOU MESSAGES are totally ineffective because they contain language that sounds abrasive, judgmental, condescending, or injurious to the self-esteem of the person confronted.

YOU MESSAGES are never well received for several reasons: They make people feel guilty They can be interpreted as blame, put downs, criticism and rejections. They communicate a lack of respect for others. They often cause reactive or retaliatory behavior. They damage the recipients self-esteem. They cause resistance rather the openness to change. They can make a person fell hurt, the resentful. They are often perceived as punitive.

You Messages contain two major obstacles that severely inhibit communication and problem solving. People don’t like to be told what to do, or what not to do. They prefer to self-initiate change when it becomes apparent that their behavior is not productive for them. When the finger of blame is pointed, it communicates that they should feel guilty and awful.

How to say an “I message” State your feelings I feel upset… 2. Describe what happen to create those feelings …when the trash isn’t taken out… 3. Tell the effect …because I don’t have the time to take it to the dump myself. Today was the last pick up day this week. 4. If applicable give a solution to the problem Perhaps setting a reminder on my phone will help get the trash out on time for pickup.

Set up I message- “you” is never used in I messages Ex. 1 I dislike it when _________ because _____________________. Ex. 2 I dislike when the counter is cluttered because people would think I’m unorganized.

“I” Message Role Play Play out an activity using the prompt Write the situation using “You” messages Then write saying “I” messages

Listening at numbers Get out your calculators- I have a few Listen to what I say I will NOT repeat a word Other students cannot speak or tell you what you missed.

Improve your listening skills Give full attention Concentrate on what the speaker is saying (not on what you need) Do not interrupt Look for non verbal cues pg 78-79 Avoid quick judgment Resist distractions Give feedback to indicate you have understood

Body Language http://www.howcast.com/videos/10608-How-to-Interpret-Body-Language Interpreting Body Language Pg 78-79

Game Time: Telephone Discussion Questions: What happen to the statement? How is this like gossip?

The Effects of Gossip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBJs9pZGLNg How can we avoid gossip? How will this effect relationships?

Rumor or gossip? Which is which!?! Rumor- a story that is not verified Could be true or not Gossip- the “juicy” details Shocking or personal Slander- rumors/ lies about a person to purposely cause damage “Minnie cheats off anyone she sits next too!”

Urban Legends Rumors that lasted forever “Did you hear that when it’s halftime at the Super Bowl, water supplies across the U.S. get used up? It’s because of all the people going to the bathroom at the same time!”

So why do people gossip? Superior Part of a group Control/ power Boredom