How can we make our writing more descriptive? Show Don’t Tell How can we make our writing more descriptive?

To make a story more interesting for the audience, we want to show not tell the audience what is happening. To better show the reader what is happening, we must consider: What is said What is thought What is done Descriptions How other characters act

In a simple story, the author can tell the reader what has happened: They went to New York to see Cats. They both enjoyed it very much.

What information have we learned from this description?

Or the author can use descriptive language to show the reader what has happened: Tanya and James flew to New York city in a 747. They got their bags, took a taxi to their hotel, and checked into their rooms. “I can’t wait to see the show,” Tanya said. “You’re going to love it.” James shook his head. “I don’t get it. It’s about Cats who sing and dance? Sounds sorta dumb.” Tanya smiled, “Just trust me.” Their hotel was just a few blocks from the Foxwoods Theater so they walked. He had never seen buildings so tall or so many people walking on the street. When they got to the theater, Tanya noticed his eyes were a little wider, his mouth a little slacker. The foyer was covered in gold and white marble, with hundreds of people milling around in gowns and beautiful suits. He didn’t talk much. Finally, they took their seats, and the lights went down. He took her hand.

How much more does this version help us understand the characters and events? What did we see/feel/hear/smell? What have we learned of our characters? What thoughts have we learned?

When is it important to use descriptive language and when is it not?

Consider: You get to know a character by what he/she does You get to know a character by what he/she says You get to know a character by what he/she thinks You get to know the character by his/her feelings You get to know a character by what the author tells you about his/her appearance

On your own, choose one of the following examples to show not tell: She was so sad when she lost her puppy. The garden was beautiful. It was a stormy night. The cake was delicious. It was an exciting day.